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04/04/2012 08:10 PM

Do I HAVE to take meds?

Jeannie
Jeannie  
Posts: 18
Member

Hi, It's Jeannie again....I am a 55 year old bi polar 2 diagnosed few years ago. I suffer from depression most of the time or I just feel blah. I am never over-the top happy manic but I am hypomanic on rare occasions. I've been on many different mood stableizers with no help. I now take Cymbalta 30 mg and I started on Lamictal yesterday on a very low dose of 12.5 mg daily plus I just went from Abilify 10 mg daily to 15 mg. My poor husband, who is VERY supportive. told me today that I scare him because he never knows who he is coming home to. He said he worries about me and he has a business but he leaves work to come home and check on me a couple times a day. I never get angry-never,,,,I just get tired and want to sleep and stare and worry and belittle myself because I have this horrible disease. Sometimes I just want to stop all of the meds and see what happens but I am scared. My husband hates the fact that I take these chemicals and he wishes I could take something natural..BTW, my father had bipolar, his sister had schizophrenia, my grandmother on dad's side had a mood disorder and was hospitalized, many cousins and nieces have bipolar on that side of the family and I gave it to my beautiful 28 year old daughter. I feel so badly about that and I try to hide my disease from everyone I know. Any thoughts would be appreciated. Thank you everyone.
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04/04/2012 09:11 PM
stevesayshi
stevesayshi  
Posts: 659
Member

I've tried and tried to go without my meds. It doesn't work for me. Just the thought of having to take something everyday to stabilize me makes me sad. But I do it for my family. The rage and anger, the things blurted out of my mouth in rage. I tried for the last 6 months to go without them again ended in failure. It's not fair to my family so once again I'm back on meds again.

04/04/2012 09:18 PM
Joy75
Joy75  
Posts: 16594
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

I would never go off my medications. Things just get worse or go back to where you were. Therapy and medications are the only ways to get you stable and keep stable. It sounds like you haven't found the right medication mix for you yet. I hope that the Lamictal helps. It really helps me. It does take a long time to get to the full effect though, so patience is needed. I thing the upped dose of Abilify may help you also. Keep us updated on how you are doing. Things do get better in time. I wish we didn't have to take medications, but we do. This disorder, passing it on, I know you feel bad, but you couldn't have known. You have a wonderful daughter and with your support, she will get through this. I hope you get to feeling better soon and that the medications help your mood.

04/05/2012 02:06 AM
mem4809

Hi Jeannie,

Like Joy said, this disease is chemical and meds help to find the right balance. Once you do find the right meds your moods will be more predictable and less erratic. It's hard to accept being on meds but if you had another disease and needed them then you'd have to take them too--like Diabetes or something. I hate being on them and start to feel sorry for myself and get angry about it but know I have to be on them. Other days I am very grateful to have them. Lamictal is an excellent drug. Give it time, you have to start on a low dose, but it is well worth the wait. Just know that having BP2 is NOT your fault. And like Joy said, you will have lots of insight to be able to help your daughter. That is actually very good as I have to explain myself to my mother over and over again and I feel like banging my head against the wall as she tries to understand but can't seem to get it. As for hiding the BP, I have confided in some close friends and that helps me. I don't need others to know, or I just say that I have Depression which is less stigmatized than BP. Everyone is different with what they choose to do in that respect.


04/05/2012 08:54 AM
JenniferJen4
JenniferJen4  
Posts: 367
Member

Don't feel bad that you passed it on, I passed it to my son and he is only 9 and has ADHD and some traits of biploar. From what I read I child born to a parent with bipolar has a 50 percent chance of getting it, I never knew it was so high but it is. IF I were you I would stick it out with the lamictal when it works it feels great. It sounds like you inherited this from many people in your family so don't beat yourself up.

Good luck

Jenn


04/05/2012 07:37 PM
toredown
 
Posts: 28
New Member

I think we have all asked ourselves if we have to take our meds at some point, and many have had negative consequences. I hate those chemicals but if I want to stay married I have to take my meds. In a relationship I suppose our decisions affect more than just ourselves. That's why there is a forum for family here.

My wife is the one that fills my medicine case because I have been unreliable, or inconsistant in taking all my pills. If that ain't bad enough she comes to every pdoc appt and has an equal vote on the decisions about what I take. Sorry, off topic a little. I just wanted to say it helps me swallow my medicine when I know I do it for my family. "It helps the medicine go down ...,(Mary Poppins)."


04/05/2012 09:59 PM
blonde4
 
Posts: 74
Member

I know I have thought the same thing you have about the meds. -- wondering if I need them, scared to not take them, angry I have to take them. I believe it is part of the grief and loss process and having a chronic health condition is a loss whether it's diabetis or Bipolar. It gets better though as I "circle" around to the understanding and acceptance of my condition which is the final stage of grief. Only thing is that I need to rework the process from time to time but I believe it gets easier as I get older. I am not sure if I have passed BP on to my children yet but thinking they will be affected by some type of mental health condition as it is very prevelant on both sides of the family. One thing that I am greatful for is that we do have many new meds.like Lamictal and who knows what more options they will have for our children and grandchildren. I take Lamictal and still am working up on the dose but have found it to help "even me out." I hope you find it to do the same. I also have mostly depression. Anyways, wish you the best and keep us posted.

04/06/2012 12:54 PM
dugg
dugg  
Posts: 247
Member

the meds question is kind of the "to be or not to be" of mental health. some do, some don't, some never will.

if a pdoc is offering you a possibility, my inclination is to try it. if it doesn't fit, quit it... but the choice you make at that point is an informed one...


04/06/2012 07:28 PM
Jeannie
Jeannie  
Posts: 18
Member

Thank you for all of your support..I appreciate the feedback and hugs. I should mention that other than bipolar 2 I also suffer from diabetes, type 2, and severe thumb arthritis which has required surgery and casts. My toes have lost sensation due to the diabetes but I try to stay active by going to the gym. I stopped going and now I am having one heck of a time making myself go back. One question-something, either the increase in Abilify from 10 mg to 15 mg or the 12.5 mg of Lamictal daily hadsupset my intestinal system very badly. Does that generally happen? No rash like last time though so I am trying to stay positive! Thanks again!

04/06/2012 07:58 PM
Jeannie
Jeannie  
Posts: 18
Member

Thank you so very much. You give me hope! Hugs, Jeannie
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