Bipolar Type II Support Group

I have this terrible new habit of cancelling appointments with friends at the last minute. Actually it is not such a new habit, but it is getting worse. I was suppose to go to a Book Club meeting tonight, but as always, I have just cancelled with some lame excuse. I always do this!!! I think I may be afraid that they will see that I am not normal and if I talk that I will stumble over my words or worse...forget their names!! For those of you who do not know yet, I have been diagnosed with BP 2 on 14 Feb 2012. My PDoc and I are still trying to sort out my meds and I have short term memory loss at the moment, but that is not the only reason why I do not want to go out. I just want to be left alone with my thoughts and try to make sense of my own life. Is this selfish? My husband also complains about this and does not understand how I feel and why I do not want to go anywhere. I know this is wrong, but I have no idea how to change it. I use to call myself a people's person, the friendly one that always had advice and a helping hand ready. Now I can hardly have a conversation with someone.

Hi Zetty. I'm pretty anti-social myself. I stay home a lot, don't have many friends. When I am with friends or meet new people, I just don't relate with them. I stay home most of the time. I don't really have money though to go out and do things. It seems every time I leave the flat I spend some sort of money.

I think when you start to get more stable you will feel more like getting out and doing things with people. I can't say for sure though, because I am stable and I stay at home a lot. It's unhealthy, I know, you know. When I worked though, I had co-workers that I communicated with, so I had some social interaction with people. Now I don't have much.

It will get better with time. I'm sorry that your husband complains. He doesn't understand. How can he right? He doesn't experience the same feelings that we do. Does he at least try to understand and support you? Sometimes we need out space. It gets unhealthy when we need that space alone all the time.

Maybe go out a little bit at a time as you become stable. I know it's a little soon right now just getting diagnosed in February, but if you can start to maybe talk to some of your friends on the phone at times and maybe meet them for coffee every once in awhile, you will get to feeling more like you want to leave the house.

I do hope that you start to feel better very soon. Of course you have all of us behind you here to support you. We care a lot and want to see you better and happy.

I have the same issues--I make plans then cancel when I am either Depressed or anxious. It is very embarrassing and when I do get to a place I feel like I have to bolt and I do leave early...even at important conferences--half of the conferences I have booked and paid for I don't get to because of my social anxiety. I used to be an extravert but now I consider myself to be an introvert. I feel like I always have to hide who I 'really' am--this person with Depression/BP spectrum. As well, having the daily cycles makes it worse as I don't know how I will be around others. I too have forgotten how to do small talk or just don't care to. I guess when I am dealing with such a big issue everything else (mostly) seems so insignificant and I get tired of pretending.

I tend to do this a lot kind of isolate and stay in. My husband works a lot of hours though and I have my son that needs me so I can kind of get away with it so to speak. Sometimes though you will find if u stay in long enough you start to get ansy to get out, at least I do. I try to do small things, taking my son to the park and socialiazing with the mom's I know or talking to a new person makes me feel better it's small but its something.

Start with something small or even go out to a store and grab something that u need almost kind of force yourself to go out even if it's to CVS or something to grab a magazine. Small steps and they help before you know it u will be getting out more. Try one outing a month maybe and go from there.

Good luck

I do the same thing! I get all excited about something I arranged that is social and the day of or day before, I just shut down and cancel. I have no idea why, I can only assume it has something to do with my social anxiety. I typically have pretty bad anxiety with new places or settings. It's so weird, it's like my brain just turns off the desire to go. Hmmm....

Thank you so much for the advice. I am exactly like goldenmstidy. I hae all these plans and then suddenly I just want to cancel everything.

I am the exactly same way hun. It gets better as you get more stable. Just explain if you can, to the people who might be hurt by this.

I too tend to be like this. Every time I make plans I am tempted to cancel. I literally have to kick myself in the butt to get out and be with humans. Otherwise, I would be quite content to stay home with my 3 felines. The good news though, is that when I do "force" myself to go out, I have a really good time. (that's the kick in the butt I give myself when I am tempted to cancel) I belong to two social groups on alternate saturdays: bowling and cribbage. I am lucky to have found these groups, since there are a variety of people with varied interests and even eccentricities, so that I don't stand out too much. (in case you're curious google meetup, there might be some activities in your area you might enjoy... that's how I found the cribbage and bowling groups)

Im having the same problem.I too used to be a extravert myself and now Im having trouble leaving the house or doing anything for that matter.I used to drag racing and was the lead singer in a popular cover band. Now I dont ever like to listen to music much less try to sing. Ive only been feeling this way for about six weeks so Im hoping it will pass soon. Sorry to hijack the thread I just felt I needed to respond.

Zetty I have the same issues. While at work, I can talk work issues, but to socialize, forget it. If you find a solution for the memory loss, please share! My wife is a social butterfly, but I keep her at home too much. Church is our release, and at least we have a good social outing every week...