Bipolar Type II Support Group

is there a difference between normal anger and bipolar anger

Bipolar anger feels more explosive, like intense rage, extremely intense physical response to me anyway. No control over. I feel possessed.

I think I react more over stupid little things too, and paranoia usually plays its part too.

That's what I think anyway!

what drives the paranoia? trust? unsecure? i was married to a rageaholic for a long time, it would trigger me, i was a bottled up anger person, a stuffer. she was not bipolar, is it a shame thing?

I think the paranoia, for me, is driven by fear of not being good enough....at anything...ever! The anger is usually triggered by people criticising or belittling me in some way.

What is paranoia? Fear of not being good enough, or fear of people, and what they can do to you?

Yeah, I guess it is a fear of what others could do to you. The criticism from others terrifies me- it's like I give other people way too much power to make me feel inferior. Their criticism destroys me internally- that's what I'm afraid of, that internal emotional pain that is triggered- I feel annihilated. That scares me way more than anything they could do to me physically, but I've luckily never been physically hurt by anyone. If I had, I'd probably be more scared of physical hurt more.

I once was the one on the bottom of the fight. Then I joined the Corps... No more is that my problem.

What people can do to me is criticism... For some reason that now bothers me more than anything else. This is why I stay away from people...

the criticism, i could not stand that, i felt faulted anyway, why would they point it out, maybe because i hammered them in the grandiose mood? and they are a little revengeful. i think i would put on the superior mood, did not go well with the man in charge. i would always get in the left field moods and bosses always seem to like the righteousness mood. so i let myself go, really strange stuff came out, then was me and my illusionary rabbit, making me feel i needed help, what games we play and our egos.

That's exactly it- if you feel so flawed and useless already, anybody else attacking you in that sense is soul destroying.

i do not think they liked us being so happy, no care in the world type thing, like i never took them seriously, they want you to produce, iwould be happy at work, that is why they call it work, i would not have any of that, i was the boss of my area, so my happy band had fun, i let them do outrageous stuff. but everyone loved us except the ones who wanted us under there thumb. in my down moods i would hide and they would cover for me, sort of ying/yang the balance.

Post edited by: lken, at: 03/10/2012 04:07 PM