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GeminiMom
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I feel like I'm about to lose it and could use a positive word or two. A little background: My husband is commuting to grad school in a city about five hours away, so he's gone half the week, leaving me a "single" mom to our daughter (2 1/2). I work full-time as well. Our daughter definitely notices when he's gone and at the beginning of the semester, she starts really acting out. Which is now -- I actually got called out of a meeting yesterday to go to daycare to read her the riot act because she was so out of control. Anyway, something came up and my husband hasn't been able to come home this week, so he's been gone since Sunday and won't be home until this coming Thursday. I feel like I'm starting to lose my mind a little, what with working and trying to be an effective mother to a little hellion. All of my free time goes into doing chores or work (I miss a lot of work when she's sick or daycare closes due to weather, like it did this week) and I'm stressed, stretched, and starting to feel like I have no life. I'm getting that hopeless feeling that's usually the first sign of my depressions. But really... I'm 35 and may as well be, well, I'm not going to say dead, but really... I'm just a rat in a maze and I don't see anyway out of it. I can't move to where my husband is because I'm the breadwinner in our family and there simply aren't any good jobs that pay enough where he is, which is why we decided to do this in the first place... we need my salary and benefits, plus we have a nice house, good doctors, and I really do like my job. So... not sure what I'm expecting. Just maybe some bit of hope that things will get better. Right now, though, I feel like I have no life outside of being a mother and a worker bee. I can't even get any pleasure out of the usual things. I'm on my usual meds but they're not helping. And I'm starting to "self-medicate" (i.e., drink more), which I know isn't good. Better sign off... I think my kid is trying to set the house on fire or something... |
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carmen33
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Hey Gemini, I am sorry you are having such a rough time of it, is there anyone near you that can take the daughter for a while? like a friend or parent? it sounds like you need some me time, you are stretched to the limit.. Call your doctor for a med adjustment if you don't feel better by Monday, your a important person too, having kids and a husband that isn't there full time to help you is rough.. Do your best to stay away from the booze it isn't helping matters, alcohol is a depressant, even though it might seem like it is helping, it really isn't. |
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Clover
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Hi Gemini, It does get better and the hamster wheel does slow down and eventually lead to a good place. I know you feel like Sisyphus right now, I remember very well! I went thru school a single Mom (divorced from a drunken husband), while I was also working - man that's a tough road. But it really does lead somewhere and it is worth the seemingly endless trip. You know how they say to enjoy the scenery along the way on a journey? While I understand that that is very hard right now, try, try to notice the little wonderful things around you. A friend at school, a helpful teacher, a kind co-worker, the smile on your daughter's face (when it shows up), you know, pretty sunsets, yummy coffee (or whatever you enjoy), and us, etc. If I haven't already -let me invite you to the Positive Discussion section, to read, ask for advice and suggestions, hopefully adding to our growing list of helpful ideas! Clover --- Remember that what you say will have an effect on others!
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GeminiMom
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Hi, guys, thank you for the replies! It's nice to not feel quite so alone. Anyway, I decided on the spur of the moment to pack up and go to my mother-in-law's house for the remainder of the weekend. I did get a little bit of a break (and, more importantly, got to sleep in a bit) and that seems to have restored some of my patience. (I also did some "retail therapy" after my initial post, which although not great for the wallet, it perked me up some, too.) I really do try to remind myself to stop and smell the roses. It's when I can't find any that I know that I need to watch out, if that makes sense. Where is the Positive Discussion section. Thanks to all who posted and hugged!  Sherry |
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Clover
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Hi Sherry, You can slide up this page to Bipolar II forums, click on that, and then look down the list to Positive Discussions! Hope to see ya there! I'm glad you got some rest and a fresh view. Keep hanging in. Clover --- Remember that what you say will have an effect on others! |
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carmen33
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Hi Sherry, glad you have gotten some rest, that is important to us to maintain a regular sleep schedule and get plenty of rest. Retail therapy is good too, as long as it is done in moderation and doesn't take away from things that need to be done.. |
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GeminiMom
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Well, my idea of retail therapy is hitting Target, so I'm cheaply bought, luckily. And thanks, Clover! Sherry
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carmen33
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Retail for me is generally the Local thrift shoppes, that way my choices are limited, prices are cheap and if I do buy it goes to a good cause.. I get a lot of enjoyment out of just browsing, can spend hours just poking around the old books. |
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GeminiMom
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I like Target because I can restrain my daughter in a shopping cart while I browse. I can only imagine the chaos were she to run amok in a thrift shop! |
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carmen33
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some of the larger ones, like goodwill even have shopping carts now, all else fails bring her stroller..lol.. but Target is good too, at least they have cheap prices.. |
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