Bipolar Type II Support Group

I graduated in December 2009 from UCF. I only had my mom, my dad, my two cousins and my uncle in attendance. Now one of my cousins who was there is graduating from Nursing School this Friday and she wants everyone in the world to be there to celebrate with her. I also have fibromyalgia and haven't been doing that great this week and really don't feel up to going, and everytime I mention that to someone I get "stop being like that!She came to your graduation!" Yea, she did, but did she take me out to dinner? Did she take me dancing? Did she throw a party in my honor? NO. So why should I have to over exert my already damaged body to appease her ego? From what I recall I was bedridden on the night and the next morning of my graduation and they were out frolicking around the city having a grand time with no concern for me. It's not even like they're going be spending that much time around me because that's how they are. They don't care about me or how I feel. So I'm going to be stuck in a dress in heels at a bar by myself around a bunch of drunken new graduates alone. I'm so excited.

Brandi,

I am fortunate enough that my fibromyalgia came on later in life, and I have a family that understands my limits. That said, that doesn't mean I do not understand your dilemma because I have pushed myself beyond my limits again and agin in ways no one has ever asked me to do. I have had to learn to practice self kindness and learn my limits. It's difficult for me to say no.

So, I think (advice) if you can decide what you can do, say attend the ceremony, then attend the ceremony. Then go home. Tell your mom or whomever what you will do and leave it at that. If they pull out the guilt, just pull out your imaginary earplugs and put them firmly in place. It does not sound, from the tone of your post, that people are being particularly sensitive to your needs in this situation. Just take care of your self. I vote for you not hurting yourself on anyone's behalf.

Once they belly up to the bar or start their whirlwind tour of the city, you'll be resting with your heels off, and they will be engage in activities. Don't let anyone guilt you! Good luck.

Post edited by: sparklehorse, at: 12/15/2011 11:07 AM

Thanks for the advice but I don't see it going down like that. I've already been called three times today asking if I'm going to the after party, and the last time I got a call she said her mom already got me a ticket for the after party. FML. I guess I'm going to have to have lots of xanax on hand. I'm not a fan of crowds or dancing. Especially when I'm in pain. I don't move like I used to when I was 17. I don't even know how to dance like people dance now. Geez.

Well, I have two secret weapons. Before I was on an maoi, and it was contraindicated, I took Ultram and tramadol for those 'special' have to show occasions. Now, I take hydrocodiene (sp?). Xanax would help, but wouldn't help me enough. Maybe a lot of gabapentin. But too much and I'd be slurring.

I sure wish you weren't put in positions like this. I'm sorry, Brandi.

I'm sorry everyone is pressuring you to attend, Brandi. I'm in a similar board with my sister and her graduation. I just started a new job and my family expects me to FLY out and go spend a week with my sister for her graduation. I can't get enough leave. And I'm in pain all the time (not fibro, but various other ailments). Sparklehorse is providing sound advice on that Ultram. It has saved my life in many of those "YOU HAVE TO BE THERE OR YOU SUCK" situations. I hope things get better. Stay home. Fuck 'em. But family makes it difficult to say that. I get it. :- Wish you didn't have to go.

I can't imagine what tomorrow will be like. Everyone has been ranting and raving all day about who should be there, and she better find a way to be there, or OMG I can't believe they're not riding together...and so on and so forth. Like, I get graduation is a special occasion, but honestly, the girl isn't even that special. She doesn't even want to be a nurse. She's voiced on several occasions she doesn't want to work in a hospital or a doctor's office. So why the hell should I be breaking my back trying to move heaven and earth to see her be pinned for something she doesn't want to do? I've already had to take a dose of xanax to calm down. I just don't get what's so special about her. No one did all of that for my graduation and I actually had obstacles to overcome physically and mentally. I may not have a job and am still in the act of going back to school, but still. A little congratulations here or there would be appreciated. When her sister graduates I am not going through this shit again and that's that. Sorry for the rant but I just feel like I'm about to explode. I hate being bipolar. I wish I could just be happy for her like everyone else.

It does seem like it's a big deal. She is probably making it a big deal herself. I'm sorry that you feel that you have to go. I don't like going to those functions either. Even with my family around Christmas. I'd rather just stay at home. You might enjoy yourself, that's a possibility so go in with an open mind. It sounds like she may be a little stuck up to me with all the ranting and raving. It would get on my nerves. I hope you at least have a little fun if you do go and I hope your body starts feeling better for you. Good luck and be safe.

Well I went to the pinning ceremony this morning where I practically collapsed and my uncle had to catch me while I was walking to my seat. I went to lunch with them afterwards but boy did I feel miserable. They were kind enough to take me home for a nap before the actual graduation ceremony tonight but I didn't go. I feel kind of bad but I can barely stand up and I wasn't going to put myself through that twice. Hopefully they understand. If not screw them, there were plenty of other people there. I am happy for her but I still think she chose the wrong profession. She doesn't even like people.

Brandi, you should never have to apologize for not feeling well. Take care of yourself and let everyone else adjust.

Nicely said, Intheshadows.