Bipolar Type II Support Group

I am trying to decide on a therapist/counselor. I need to go to someone to help me manage BP and triggers, etc., but also am wanting to go to them for marriage counseling too if my husband decides to go. We used to go to a counselor before that we really liked, but insurance doesn't cover her and it was 90 bucks a pop! They have several therapists at my pdoc's office that I am considering.

ANYWAY, getting to the point… I can't decide if I would rather a man or a woman. Just wondering what any of your opinions are, or experiences have been with different therapists and which you preferred either for managing yourself or for marital counseling. Male or female, feel free to voice your opinion.

THANKS, Blu

I am a woman who prefers male therapists (and other doctors, for that matter) because I've always seemed to experience more compassion from male health professionals than women. Then again, I get along better with males in general, which might be why I prefer male docs to female docs. I think it's a matter of your own preference. Big help I am, huh? Good luck.

You've got it, Stevie...I, too, expected female docs to have a bit more empathy with a fellow woman, but found out that wasn't the case.

As to using the same therapist for private (ie, one on one) counseling as well as marriage counseling, I considered that too and decided against it. I think the goals of individual counseling are very different from the goals of marriage counseling and asking a single therapist to switch gears between the two might impair the therapist's ability to perform either task. On the other hand, I am all for asking your own therapist whether you can bring your husband to a session or two. I think that is a great way for a spouse to get a different perspective on your condition. Our spouses all too often are only able to see our illness (I'm talking specifically about bipolar here) only as it relates to the marriage. They need to see how it affects us as individuals, too.

Just a thought.

I am a male and prefer females.

my therpist in female and my pcp is as well. I feel much more compassion from them then I have with a male therpist and male pcp However my pdoc is a male and he is caring as well.

I agree about not using the same person for individual and couples counseling, but having your dh coming in sometimes to your individual counselor. I had my dh come to my tdoc with me once and it was a little strange, I felt territorial about this being MY safe place. I think she got to see the dynamic in our relationship though (not that there were any surprises, I suspect!)

I am a woman and personally am VERY happy I have a female tdoc and female pdoc. I feel so comfortable with them and they are really compassionate. I have had a male tdoc and also a male pdoc at different times and I really didn't feel like I could open up to them in nearly the same way. But then again I can be pretty shy around men and less so around women so it may be no surprise. Honestly, in my case I felt like I chose the male tdoc and pdoc to sabotage myself because I knew I would make less progress. But that's just me!!!

herenow

My marriage counseling attempts always failed. But my ex was never comfortable with the therapists we used (they were all male) and one therapist fired us because he didn't think I was being compliant. If I had to do it over again I would want to use a therapist my then husband was comfortable with so he would be more likely to attend sessions and listen to advice.

I agree with Ele too. Find a marriage counselor that your husband feels comfortable with too and it is ok to "doctor shop". If you don't like someone, move on. I am female and prefer male counselors but I have a female MD (who is not compassionate, warm, or very good at listening). My male counselor is all the above. But if my husband and I have to go to marriage counceling, I think I would start with someone totally new because I would want someone to know both of us new. (doesn't make much sense huh?)

You know what though??? I have been married 4 times so I should not even speak any words of advice on marriage!!

interesting....my primary care doctor and my ob/gyn are both males. and i like it that way. in fact, the only time i see a female in my primaries office is when i am sick and need to get in right away. then i see the pa whom i love.

my pdoc and tdoc are both female and i was very intentional about picking them. my thinking was they would be more likely to pay attention to hormonal cycles that are effecting my moods in conjunction with the bp.

My OB/GYN is a female whom I love, and the nurse practitioner I see at the pdoc's office is female, but I really don't connect with her. All she does is manage my meds though, so it's no big deal. I guess all in all, it depends on the individual person you go see, male or female, their personality and level of compassion, or ability to listen. Hopefully I can find a good one for me.

I think I will go ahead and make an appointment with one of the male therapists for individual counseling and see how that goes since I have only been to women, and if I'm uncomfortable, then I can always see one of the women there. As far as for marriage counseling, I don't think my husband is open to that. He has just about made the decision that he is going to leave and I feel I really need to start seeing someone to learn how to cope with that better. He will probably go to a visit or two with me, but I don't think it would be for marriage counseling.

Thanks for all of your input, and if anyone else still wants to chime in, I would be happy to read any more opinions!

Blu

blugreen...glad you are working through it girl. it takes a lot of courage to face your problems head on. go get it done!