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10/07/2011 07:32 AM

a sense of separation?

bennyw
bennyw  
Posts: 607
Member

a bit of an ambling thought but i was wondering who else felt quite keenly 'different' from people around them because of their mental illness, sometimes almost like a ghost among the living maybe?

myself, i feel like i can't forget my bipolar any more easily than i can hold a hand over one of my eyes and pretend it isn't there (if that makes any sense!)

for me this is one of the chief struggles of having bipolar, this sense of separation and alienation from people around me. it can be depressing but i don't think it is the same as symptomatic 'depression'. in a way it's harder than the symptoms because it's nothing that can be treated by medication...any differently than people who can erase bad experiences from their lives or fears about the future.

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10/07/2011 07:50 AM
rigje
rigje  
Posts: 206
Member
I'm an Advocate

Hi Benny - Yes, i feel it regularly - mostly when others make decisions on things that i would get so emotional about - If everyone had the reactions to things that i felt, i might feel less odd - but then there would be a lot more shouting going on -

mostly i feel that others who are not like me, settle for the way things are and dont speak up and show how things are wrong more often. I have to practice being quiet and not sharing many of my opinions


10/07/2011 01:40 PM
Moonbaby
Moonbaby  
Posts: 577
Member

I often feel different and separate from the crowd. I think the majority of us are deep thinkers and that in and of itself sets a person apart at times. Sometimes I worry that I might be noticeably different which makes me quiet and withdraw. Of course when manic I'm the life of the party and couldn't care less if I am different; actually relish the difference if that makes any sense. The beauty of this site is in the knowing there are people just like me so I'm not so separate and different as I feel at times.

10/07/2011 05:12 PM
Wharton16
Wharton16  
Posts: 235
Member

Oh boy, do I know that feeling! I have felt different, like I'm on the outside looking in, since I was a child. Thats how I always knew that there was something 'wrong' with me. I don't like the word wrong in this context but can't think of another one. Smile

Always a deep thinker, always the loner and more at home with books than playing or socialising with my peers. Still do prefer my own company, and that of my cat.

But then, is that necessarily bipolar or just a natural introverted personality. Do we tend to sometimes think everything is Bipolar related?

Who knows, but it's food for thought.

Love & light

Grace x


10/08/2011 04:33 AM
barelymanic
barelymanic  
Posts: 3253
VIP Member

Yep Grace, me too. I am not sure what is bipolar and what isn't either. Well with the exception of a few traits. Large gatherings make me feel really uncomfortable. I often get ignored or say things that others think are inappropriate. Well I got news for people not everybody thinks the same way about what is and isn't appropriate and nobody gave me that rule book ever.

10/08/2011 10:03 AM
Wharton16
Wharton16  
Posts: 235
Member

Hi barelymanic,

Yes, big gatherings make me uneasy too. In June I attended my nieces wedding at a gorgeous hotel on Dartmoor in Devon. I had a lovely weekend until it was time for the evening disco and dancing. I retreated to the next and much quieter room. I was still able to hear the music and see much of the party, but I still felt a tad uncomfortable and uneasy.

Every one was part of a couple....but me, everyone had something to say....but me. Well I did, but not perhaps what would have past for 'normal' conversational fodder. Lol. Smile Ah Grace, yes our family eccentric. :-/

Well as my signature says Ad te ipso Verum. Or, To thine own self be true.

Love and light

Grace x


10/09/2011 10:39 AM
Lyddiem
Posts: 71
Member

I'm the opposite. I love socializing and being out and about. I don't do the club scene or anything like that, but wine bars, get togethers with friends and other things I love. However, I think that's just a part of my personality and not due to dealing with bipolar II disorder. I do remember thinking that I was much more aware...like more awake and in tune with what was really going on...in college. I have always felt like I could "see" into people more than the average person and as a result I was very "black or white" and "this or that" when dealing with people. I wouldn't give people the benefit of the doubt because I felt like I knew who they were. Unfortunately, most times I was right, which lead me to distance myself from a lot of people after college.

That was a rant, but all that to say, I do think having bipolar II disorder can cause us to discern things more clearly that others. And I also feel that whatever our natural personality is (intro vs extra vert) comes out no matter what.

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