Bipolar Type II Support Group

After begging me for another child my bi polar loved one left me pregnant and raising our toddler. He has been very cruel and will only e mail me when he has some form of hatred to write me. He decided our toddler is not his and demanded a dna test and lawyer to the tune of 3000 dollars. The dna proved he was the father and he decided to take his chance with a judge to try to get out of child support. He of course did not show up at court. He stole my car and traded it for a Harley and left me stranded unable to even get to a car dealership to get a new car without any money in our account or transpertation. No thought of how I was going to get milk etc for the kids. Thank goodness for friends. He went online and found a girlfriend half way across the country and he loves to tell me about how she thinks I am crazy. I threw out my sim card because I could not deal with his text messages one mn he is going to kill himself the next he hates me the next he wants to talk when things have settled down the next I am the devil. I have no answeing machine on my home phone and I will not open anymore of his e mails. It just hurts to much. He will not take his meds but will take any other random drug he can find,smoke etc. I am 5 weeks away from my due date with a very difficult pregnancy of pre eclampsia,gestational diabetes,post tramatic stress you get the picture but no support from him. In fact he told the new girl I misscarried. I had come to terms that even though I love him I can not let our children live like this and I have worked very hard at this decision This morning I was feeling sorry for myself and after I dropped the older kids off at school i was going to treat myself to a real Coke sugar caffine and all. Guess who was there. I did not see him until I practicaly bumped into him. All I could say was oh hi and walked out. He looked fine and healthy and answered how ya doing.Never even glanced down at my very pregnant belly. Does he really think that the baby is dead? If I decided I can't be with him why does it feel so bad and why did I want to run his Harley fatboy over in the parking lot with my mini van?

Wow, what a story. I'm so sorry you have had to deal with all of this. I have had a very rough time with my ex (who definitely has bipiolar and borderline personality disorder...untreated). It is so difficult to stay strong, but you know you have to for the kids. I have finally made a choice to distance myself from my ex. He has controlled me for 14 years now, and a couple of weeks ago... after a huge fight resulting in throwing patio furniture and plants because I was so angry (my 11-year-old saw it), I realized NO MORE. I told him I was done. Just done. No more. I haven't really talked to him since and I feel like I should because he has been telling me what to do for so long, I feel strange without it.

My story is in no way as rough as yours, but the point in my telling you what's been going on with me, is just to say NO MORE. You have to detach at walk away. He shouldn't be in your life anymore. He is toxic for you... poison. I hope you will stay strong and do what you have to do to shield your children as much as you can from all of this.

I wish you all the best. If you need to talk more about it, I'm just a PM away.

Hugs,

Time to move on. You don't need this in your life and neither do your children. He's not willing to get treatment, he shows no compassion, no responsibility and is down right cruel. I know that things r difficult emotionally. I hope you have a good support network like family and/or friends. You're going to need this to help you thru. Keep in touch. I hope that your delivery is a safe one.

That's awful! Please try to come up with a plan when you have the baby. You know he won't be around for you, so you need someone to help with your toddler and even you in the hospital. Do you have any family near by or some friends? You do have to move on like hunkydorie said. You need to make financial plans and get help from the community if you can like the WIC program and food stamps or whatever you need (if you're in the USA). Definitely separate your accounts. Please keep us updated. we really care for you and what's going on with you.

Thank you for all your support. I am going to try to do it without any help from him and not even put him in the birth certificate.It will be a struggle but I think I can apply for wic and health insurance for the baby. With our toddler he made life miserable trying to getout of child support and threatened to take her from me so he would not have to pay,demanding dna test etc. This time no money but no drama. He can't visit a baby that isn't his or at least I hope not. The courts have really been a dissapointment. He gets visitation no matter what unless he has sexually abused her. (and only her, a neighbor kid would be ok and not effect his visitation scary ) Ijust hope everything works out for the best.

Hi,

When I was in my 30's I became pregnant with my third child. I was a single mom, had a job that I was unhappy with and had just bought a condo before I became pregnant. It was a very difficult time because eventually I was homeless with no job, condo sold and only a red ford escort stationwagon that was mine. I really thought that I was going to be living in that vehicle with the baby. I ended up going to a Christian pregnancy center and they helped me find a temp home with a woman who was a chemistry teacher at a local highschool. She was nice and all, but told me that she did not want a baby in the household because she just would not be able to put up with the crying. This meant that I was in a pinch to find another type of housing. To make a long story short, thank God, I was able to secure an apartment with the help of my sister sending me some money. It was subsidized housing. It was a nice apartment and I lived in a pretty nice city. The father of the baby was constantly at me....is it mine, is it mine he would say. I had ended the relationship with him and later found out I was pregnant. He knew that I was pregnant. I didn't want to be with him. I didn't love him. I told him that the baby might not be his. I just honestly didn't want him in my life. I knew he was not to be my life long partner. AFter the baby was born, he called and threatened to kidnap the baby with the help of a friend of his. Now I had earlier in my pregnancy known a man who did actually kidnap his kids and took them to Egypt. The mom was able to get the kids back, but it was touch and go. Of course, I was on my tippy toes and very concerned. I know that I have gone into a long spew here, but I guess I just wanted to tell my story to let you know that you can be strong and sucessful as a single mom. There r struggles, yes, but there's lots of help out there if you know where to look. There r so many avenues and possibilities.

In ending, I didn't put the father's name on the birth cert, but it has caused an issue with my daughter who is now 14 and is wondering who her dad is as she has never seen him. It is quite frankly very difficult because now she wants to find him. I am left with a lot of fear because I don't know where this man is, what he has done with his life and if he would be safe to be around my daughter. I've tried looking him up on the search engines of the computer to no avail. I have tried just about everything I can think of. I don't have his date of birth, just his name and nothing is coming up. Oh well, so be it. I just wanted to encourage you to move onward. I know it is difficult that your sig other has visitation. That's a tough one. All you can do is just to keep your eye on things as much as possible. Take care of yourself and let us know how you r doing.

Get counseling if you can afford to or if you have insurance to subsidize your visits. Then, cut off contact with him except for things dealing with the children. You're doing good to not answer his calls, texts or emails when he responds hatefully.

I hope all is improving for you and I will be praying for you and your family.