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08/04/2011 09:30 PM

newly diagnosed and picking up the pieces

Aries
Aries  
Posts: 18
Member

I shared in my first post that I was recently diagnosed about 2-3 weeks ago. The diagnosis shocked me and turned my whole world upside down. After finding myself feeling becoming depressed again, for no reason really, I made the decision to return to therapy telling myself I deserve a better quality of life. However the recommendations my therapist suggested I try to pull myself out of the depression wasn't working. In fact, I felt myself getting worse.

I decided to give anti-depressants another go, after the horrid experience I had on them, 7 years ago when I was diagnosed with clinical depression. But I only got worse, and fast. I lasted 2 days on the anti-depressants before I was ready to have admit myself.

Now I know that I was mis-diagnosed and am BP2 (not just based on my experience w/ the SSRI's). I began taking Lithium, and Xanax for anxiety attacks, and I'm feeling much better, and w/ my recent dose adjustment- more stable.

Now comes the hard part....picking up the pieces. I find that when I'm depressed I push people away, not intentionally, and sometimes I don't even realize I'm doing it. Most people in my life are very supportive, but I still haven't told most of my family, and they were the one's I pushed away the most. I'm finding that I need to repair some relationships w/ my family and my boyfriend. We used to be very affectionate, but now I feel this void between us. Surprisingly I was able to keep working through all of this, but now I'm struggling to meet dead lines because of all the work I let pile up and dead lines I never even considered existed during my depressive episode?

Since I'm knew to this I was wondering if anyone has any advice, or went through a similar feeling when they were newly diagnosed?

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08/05/2011 01:42 AM
Celticgirl
Celticgirl  
Posts: 195
Member

The only advice I can offer is to give your relationships time to heal. Apologise where necessary and then leave the ball in the other person's court. It took my husband and I almost a year to get back to where we were before. We still have our bad days when the old hurts resurface and he says terrible things and I say terrible things back, but we forgive and move on. As for the work deadlines, can you ask for help with the work or get and extension on your deadlines? Otherwise, just prioritise and do what you can. Worrying about it won't get the work done any faster Smile

Good luck!


08/05/2011 05:43 AM
skullhappy
skullhappy  
Posts: 743
Member

Give it time. WORK your butt off in therapy. monitor yourself. And you will find eventually things will get better. There is no way around it, just through it. Best of luck to you.

08/05/2011 10:48 AM
redphoenix
redphoenix  
Posts: 1192
VIP Member

Once you are feeling fairly stable, things will just start to fall back into place. That's what happened for me. It is possible to rebuild... it just might take some time.

08/05/2011 09:44 PM
danzig621
danzig621  
Posts: 174
Member

i am also recently diagnosed and going through a lot of the same. it took walking out on a job i had for 10 years to realize that i needed more help than the gambit of SSRIs i had been on for the past 16 years. financial issues are the root of daily panic attacks, but my marriage is suffering as well. the first shrink i saw after taking myself to the ER insisted that my husband come in for a follow-up, and that was really the most helpful thing for our relationship woes. the doc let him know that looking for a full time job in my field (DD services) was actually the worst thing i could do for my health right now. doesn't help the fact that we are in real financial trouble right now, but it took a lot of pressure off. thank god i have a group of friends who understand and force me out of the house whether i like it or not. otherwise i think i would never take my pajamas off.

good luck to you!

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