Bipolar Type II Support Group

I can't stand the way I feel right now. It seems I went from debilitating depression just prior to dx (only two weeks ago) to constant agitation or irritability. Then I want to cry....It's midnight and I have a very full day tomorrow, but sleep eludes me again. I spent way too much money this weekend and now I'm waiting on a paycheck again. My kids need uniforms for school, my son gets braces this month, I have a LOT of stress in my job right now.....what do I do? Will I ever feel "right?" In the midst of this, my BFF is going through a major life change (divorce) and I can't even tell her about my dx or how I feel b/c I want to be there for HER, not the other way around. I haven't posted on here since I was first diagnosed because I can't interact with people right now. My husband tries, but he does NOT understand! How can he? I think I hate Lithium right now. It's not helping me and I have all these weird side effects or something. I want to be creative (I sketch a little) but I can't focus. I can't read a book. I have to call the office coordinator to help me keep up with my transactions because I can't remember what needs to be done. UGH! I hate this!!

Hi LuvDoxies! I'm sorry you are feeling this way. Your post really speaks to me -- I'm going through so many of the same things right now! I've been on Lithium for a couple of weeks as well and am having the weirdest side effects. Like you, I started feeling really agitated and irritable and my anxiety is SKY HIGH. I'm not sure what is going on. I think I hate Lithium right now too! Working has become so hard -- can't concentrate, can't really do much except for figit around and try to calm myself down. My husband is also trying to understand, but he can't (he is trying though...).

All I can say is -- hang in there! I called my pdoc this week and asked for an appointment. Maybe you can talk to your pdoc too? I don't think we should have to feel this way on Lithium!

Maybe Lithium is not for you. There are plenty of other meds out there that can work better. I tried Lithium but had to go off of it because of the side effects. I talk Lamictal now and have been doing good on it for almost four months. Once you get the right meds this will change for the better.

Keep on posting we are here for you and we understand.

This is how I have been feeling as well, very mixed, irritable, agitated. I hope that you can get a med adjustment were you don't suffer from so many side effects and can be more functional in your everyday life. It really sounds like you are going trough alot right now and are trying to be the strong one at the same time, hopefully you will find a friend that will understand you and be able to help and support you with what you are going through.

I personally don't know about ever feeling "right" but this forum gives me alot of hope that it is indeed possible and pretty common. I really hope you feel better, please keep us updated on your situation...best of luck

Thank you for your comments. I go back to my pdoc next week, but I don't have a therapist. I feel like I have no one to tell me how to cope with this. I know I have been bipolar for a very long time (since teenager) but I am tired of it and I want to feel better, I think "stable" is the word. Don't think I've have much of that. Do bipolars ever get to enjoy life or is it just a constant battle?

I know where you are coming from. I've been there many times. It can be so hard to manage everything because it is very hard not to get completely overwhelmed... at least that is how it was for me. I agree with Rick that maybe lithium isn't for you. I took it for quite a while, but finally gave it up because it didn't seem to work that well, and I just couldn't take the side effects anymore. I have been on Lamictal since early November, it works better for me than lithium, but I still didn't start feeling better until VERY recently. It is frustrating, I know, but you too will get through to the other side. It may take some time and patience (if that's even possible... I pretty much have none), but you will eventually find the right meds and figure out how to structure your life so that it fits you. Feel free to PM if you need to talk. I hope you feel better soon.

Yes, bipolar people do get to enjoy life! It sounds like the Lithium may not be for you, as Rick said, but there are so many other things to try. The battle really can get better. I've had my ups and downs since diagnosis and treatment many years ago, but never felt as bad again once I got to my first stabilization. And now I've been stable and content for quite awhile. I wish you the best in finding the right meds. It may take awhile, but if you keep at it there really is hope. Seeing a therapist would also go a long way in helping you to cope. Is that possible? I hope you get some relief soon.

Tova -- it is nice to hear that there is hope and a potential "out" off of this cycle. Hope you are feeling better LuvDoxies!

Thanks so much everyone for the encouragement. I'm trying, but it seems hopeless. I've only had one suicide attempt in my life many years ago and I don't want to go there again, but I start thinking about how death would be such a relief from all this madness! I hope my pdoc can do something soon. Right now, it just seems hopeless. Thank God I have this forum because there is absolutely no one to talk to about this. Who could possibly understand? Nobody even knows but my husband, not my best friend or any of my family. It's just so overwhelming....thanks to everyone for listening and for your words of encouragement

Unfortunately, no one can understand that hasn't walked in our shoes. It's frustrating that you don't have a support system outside of this forum. I'm in pretty much the same boat. I just want to reiterate that there is hope. It doesn't seem like it right now, I know, but there is always hope. You have to hang on. If you feel like you are going to hurt yourself, please go to the hospital. You don't want another attempt... that will set you back even more. PM anytime you need to talk. I am here for you.