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06/06/2011 11:41 AM

Anger and depression issues

AngelsLove
 
Posts: 19
Member

Lately I have found myself being angry, irritable, and depressed. I feel like I am on a roller coaster with these feelings. I hate it! I went to my psychiatrist last week and she felt that a lot of the anger was coming from my grieving. My mom has Alzheimer's Disease and is deteriorating quite rapidly now. So I am apparently going through anticipatory grieving right now. I understand that anger is part of grieving as well as depression.

I just don't know where the line is drawn when it is clinical depression or grieving depression.....same thing with my anger. I don't feel that it is all grieving aspect. My psychiatrist decided to keep me on the same medication for another month. I have been on Pristiq for 7 weeks now and I just do not feel a difference. I just got done with 2 weeks of disability off of work which was in a sense a joke for me since I was getting calls all the time from the workplace. I also was in the hospital for 5 days prior to that.

How much longer can I deal with all of this? It is so frustrating for me! Have any of you dealt with this kind of depression/anger from grieving and how can you draw the line?

Thank you for listening,

AngelsLove

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06/06/2011 05:56 PM
Damon
DamonPosts: 43
Member

Thank you for your post. I am grieving the death of my mother who died at the end of April. Even though I believe my BP2 symptoms are well managed, the good and bad news is that they don't take away my feelings, including grief. My anger manifests itself as extreme irritability, which was all but impossible to manage before treatment. It is still something I need to stay extremely mindful of, not always successfully, and give myself better self care especially now with my process of grieving.

06/06/2011 07:14 PM
llb
llb  
Posts: 226
Member

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my Mom 3 years ago. God bless you.

06/07/2011 05:33 AM
willowwisp
Posts: 425
Member

Angels, this is a wonderful question. One I have been struggling with for about 6 months now. My pdoc, also does not want to change my medication. He feels that I need to work out some issues in therapy before I move on to more medication. I, of course, want it all to go away.. bring on the meds! my "issues" aren't going away... and I just want to get out of depression. But, listening to your question, i do see some validity in that.

You are losing your mother, and that is one of the highest forms of grief there is. My brother, had a very bad degenerative brain disorder... and I had to watch him, over the years, deteriorate.. and there was a LOT of grieving during that time. Then, he finally passed away in Feb of 2010.. so, about a year and a half ago.. and it was a year or more of grieving. I will tell you one thing, though... when you deal with someone who has a degenerative disease.. like alzheimers, you do a LOT of your grieving before they pass away... I think it would be good for you to work with a therapist now, to help you begin to process all the grief as you are going through it... it would be very helpful.

The medication will never stop you from feeling normal feelings. So, you are human, you should be feeling grief right now. However, you need to monitor the LEVEL of your grief. If it is so deep that you can no longer function, or you begin to start thinking about self harming.. then you need to see your pdoc...

The last thing I want to say... is that I am beginning to feel that it is better to be "under medicated" than "over medicated". It seems that very few people are ever able to decrease medications as they progress.. so, I believe the goal should be to control your illness with as little medication as possible.

Anyway.. I guess I didn't really give you much of an answer, or any direction... I guess I was thinking aloud, and sharing my experience.

I'm very sorry about your mother...


06/07/2011 07:49 AM
AngelsLove
 
Posts: 19
Member

Thank you for your replies. I am sorry for your loss. I am calling my pdoc today to see what can be done since I am finding myself doing self injury during this time. Grieving is a hard thing to go through and I am working on it with my therapist.

AngelsLove


06/07/2011 01:24 PM
skullhappy
skullhappy  
Posts: 743
Member

You are very brave and strong to face this challenge head on. I wish you the very best of luck.

06/08/2011 04:13 PM
AngelsLove
 
Posts: 19
Member

Well I got a hold of my pdoc. She decided to take me off of Pristiq and put me on Wellbutrin. We will see how this works out. I am tired of feeling depressed and then angry and irritable! I am still finding myself doing self harm and having suicidal thoughts. It is so frustrating! Thank you for your support!

AngelsLove

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