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04/28/2011 09:25 AM

BP Disease


I am having a very hard time accepting that I have a mental illness for life, even though it has been with me for 30 years. The doctors can't figure my BP out nor the meds and I am so not coping well. My eating disorder is returning, I am just falling apart. I said to my husband that I am always fearful of getting cancer, or a neuro-degenerative disease, and then I just realized--sh-t! I have a disease! I guess because they can't find the right meds and it is taking so long that I can't cope well. They want to put me on Seroquel but with the weight gain I refuse. I am never happy with my weight and putting even ten pounds on would make me soooo upset and bulimic or anorexic, it is not an option for me. Any suggestions would help, but please don't even talk to me about Seroquel, it's not an option for me. Thx

04/28/2011 10:26 AM

I wouldn't want to gain weight since I have been able to keep my weight the same since high school. Hang in there. I am having a hard time and sometimes want to give up or wish the pain would stop. I am so on my own since everyones response is to keep away from me, put me down or other not helpful thing. Keep coming back to finding solutions. Different doctor, different med combinations, other therapies. We both need to hang in there, we're worth it even if we are tired of the struggle.

04/28/2011 10:30 AM
Posts: 1192
VIP Member

I wish I had some good advice for you. I still struggle with the fact that I have bipolar. It's like I think they are not diagnosing me with the right thing. I periodically ask my pdoc if he still thinks I'm biolar II with treatment resistant depression and his answer is always yes. I won't talk to you about Seroquel, you have your reasons for not wanting to try that. That's what I'm trying right now. I'm not sure if it is helping any yet. I hope you can continue to seek out the right meds. I know sometimes seems impossible... that's how I feel, but we just have to keep on trying I suppose.

04/28/2011 01:11 PM
Posts: 16598
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

I wish that there was something I knew of you to take. Maybe one of the older medications might work. How many have you tried? I'm on Abilify and I've only gained some weight, but I also don't do anything to take it off. It's supposed to be weight neutral, everyone is different. As long as you exercise and eat healthy you should be okay. I'm sorry you are having a hard time accepting this illness. I hope in time that you can and feel better about yourself. We are all here to listen to you, so keep posting. Keep trying with your psychiatrist, there has to be something out there that will work for you.

04/28/2011 02:30 PM


04/28/2011 03:40 PM
Posts: 3203
Senior Member

I think it's natural to go through the phases of grief when dealing with our illness. At times I'm angry, then depressed, then in denial, then accepting, then back through the cycle all over again. The medication changes are the worst. I thought the Geodon was helping you. Do they not want to up that? It can go up to 240 mg. Or is it the depression that you're more concerned about? You're not on a therapeutic dose of wellbutrin. I'm not sure what else to tell you, sweetie, except to hang in there and we're here for you. We understand what you're going through. <<HUG>>

04/28/2011 04:55 PM
Posts: 124

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. I have no idea of what have you tried, but there's usually several options at any given moment for most people, so just keep asking your doc. And hey, remember that you are depressed; everything seems dark right now, and you are sure you can't handle anything. You are stronger than you think, and you will feel better.

04/29/2011 10:51 AM

i am actually not depressed at the moment, but I am just having a hard time accepting things.

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