Bipolar Type II Support Group

I'm still new here, and I've recently accepted the fact that I'm bipolar type 2, though my pdoc gave me that dx several months ago. But what has really brought it home to me is how I cycle between the depths of depression to feeling pretty good. I can go weeks very depressed and even have obsessive, intrusive thoughts about how to commit suicide, feeling totally worthless, feeling that the world is evil, and then maybe suddenly one day I feel pretty good. When I feel pretty good, I start being in denial. I say to myself that there's nothing really wrong with me, that being depressed was just a weakness at that time. Then I get depressed again. Sometimes I go weeks with one feeling (either depressed or seemingly normal), at other times I can go days, at other times, especially the last week, I can feel depressed at one part of the day, and feeling normal the next part of the day. I just never know. In my reading, sounds like bipolar type 2 to me. Then I start thinking, oh they just slap bipolar type 2 on anyone they don't know what to dx them as or whatever. Wow, being in denial sure must be part of this disease, lol.

So today I'm chatty cathy and all into talking about this because I kinda feel good that I can put a name to what I have.....and also, I feel good, lol.

How is it with you?

So glad to have found you all!

I can cycle up to 4 times a day! It's a roller coaster for sure! But that's a pretty unusual pattern that I have...not truly BP2, but within the BP spectrum.

I roller coaster like crazy sometimes. It's literally hour to hour. Thankfully, I am stable much of the time now.

I usually cycle every couple of weeks, have gone months but no longer than 3 without a change. I wonder what normal feels like. I"ll be going along, thinking I feel good and BAMMMM....turnes out I'm not.

I'm still trying to figure this out myself. I was mis diagnosed with major depression so have been taking citalopram 20 mg and wellbutrin 150 mg slow release. it's been absolutely amazing for my depression, however, hypomania is quite prevalent, we figure this cycle of hypomania began in december, possibly exacerbated by the citalopram,and so I've been self medicating with marijuana to "calm down". I made the great mistake of leaving my prescription refill to the last minute before travel, in the end i was three days off my meds and I completely withdrew, playing computer chess for hours then being fine the next morning then falling completely apart by noon, I couldn't even dress myself; then we got my meds and within two hours I was raw but stable.......I am really scared, but also really looking forward to finding something for my mania, and to quit abusing pot, because my body is exhausted, my family is exhausted, and my mind is beginning to feel exhausted. I know it's going to be a real challenge, letting go of the highs. But since i now understand whats going on, that i can and i should let them go. Ack!

Sam dog....I was on Wellbutrin also, along w/Prozac when I was diagnosed w/major depression and my anxiety went through the roof. If you are still on Wellbutrin, look into getting off that and maybe you will calm down. That's how it went for me anyway...but you know, we are all so different. Just a thought

Dagny...I am wondering too, how often do I actually cycle. I was in the bad depressive phase in Oct. Then I was just ok for most of the winter, able to accomplish things, but felt I was really forcing myself along and lacking enjoyment. Then suddenly a couple weeks ago, I was back to not being able to sleep right, crazy dreams and my mania has me exhausted, because I am doing all sorts of projects and obsessing about them to the point of headaches. I am avoiding things I need to do, and doing things I want to do, it's not all bad tho. I am going to keep riding it out w/out a med change and see what happens. I am trying to track it to see at what point is my "normal". tough to not know what normal feels like, I agree.

Post edited by: jlemom34, at: 04/27/2011 03:05 PM

I'm glad you are feeling pretty good now, but am sorry for the depression. You cycling isn't good and I'd tell my psychiatrist if I were you. You don't have to suffer through this. I hope you find some relief soon!

Jlemom34 thanks for thoughts re wellbutrin. I see my therapist tomorrow, my gp next week and then hopefully a pdoc re med changes.

Dagny, Joy 75 sounds like a good idea, to talk to your pdoc and maybe try a new medication. I'm not on the right ones yet, but hope to move further along the path to successfully managing this disease.

I feel for all you are going through, and I wish you lots of strength. Thank you for sharing.