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04/10/2011 10:15 AM

What happens when meds just don't work?

redphoenix
redphoenix  
Posts: 1192
VIP Member

I am going to my pdoc again tomorrow. I have tried all kinds of drugs, none of which have really worked for me. I know everyone says that I should be patient because it takes a long time for the doc to find the right combo. I just don't know how much longer I can wait. This is ridiculously tedious. I don't even get my hopes up anymore when he prescribes something new. At best it only works for a couple of days... at worst it doesn't work at all. I know there are many other combos that can be tried, but at what point do you throw your hands up and say, "I give up. I quit." I don't know how I can be expected to have any hope left. I read the posts and diaries on this site all the time, even though I don't post as often as I should. Most people seem to have some relief at some time. I have none. This is something I have dealt with day in day out for a VERY long time. I know others struggle with the same level of depression that I do, but is seems like they have periods of relief. I'm just trying to be realistic... meds just don't seem to work for me. My doc says I have treatment resistant depression. Deep down I know what that means, but it is really hard for me to accept. I want to get better and have tried really hard for a long time, but I just don't know how much fight I have left. I just want to go to sleep and wake up when it's over.
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04/10/2011 11:07 AM
mem4809

I was diagnosed with treatment resistant depression then BP and that's when they tried fancy new combos. Maybe you need another Pdoc's advice? It sounds awful what you are going through but it took me a few pdocs to find one that was willing to think outside of the box.

04/10/2011 11:44 AM
Coskin
Coskin  
Posts: 153
Member

Redphoenix, today I feel just like you. I had been doing really well for few months. Then I started noticing that at times I felt exhausted and sad. I thought then that the meds were no longer working as well but decided to ride it out. Obviously, wrong choice because rapid cycling ensued and I felt my moods speeding out of control. A couple of weeks ago I went to see the pdoc and he increased the Lamictal from 200 to 300mg. Since Wednesday, I have been feeling just like I used to feel before treatment. It seems none of the meds is working. I am discouraged; afraid that all the meds would need to be change, I am obsessing about things…my mind distorts everything. It does seem like a perpetual nightmare. In a cybernetic metaphor let me hold your hand, please hold mine and let us go forth. they are doing research every day and maybe one day the meds will have a longer positive effect. Meanwhile let us keep in touch; this too shall pass. I will be praying for the two of us with the hope we will soon find the right kind of medical relief

04/10/2011 11:53 AM
redphoenix
redphoenix  
Posts: 1192
VIP Member

Coskin, thanks for your response. I am really trying to hold out hope, but it seems so dim. It's good to know I'm not alone, but I'm really sorry you are going through this. I've prayed, I've grieved, I have even come to some kind of understanding that I might have a low level depression for the rest of my life... kind of sounds like settling, but I'm grasping at straws here. I just can't take the intensity of my depression. I will be at a point where I think I can handle things, and then it takes a nosedive and I just want to die (which I could never do to my kids). I'm certainly at my wits end and feel like something's got to give soon. I will keep hoping for both of us.

04/10/2011 01:51 PM
Joy75
Joy75  
Posts: 16594
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

I know you are frustrated. I don't blame you for that. It's taking so long for you to find relief. I've had that low grade depression myself all of my life. I thought it was gone, but no, it's still there. After my recent weaning off of Lamictal failed, and I ended up depressed, he put me back on the Lamictal which was not of much help. I look back and realized that I have felt this way for awhile and wasn't really aware of it. My psychiatrist put me on Amantadine as an addition to the other medications I am on for depression. It's non stimulant and is supposed to give you motivation and help with the depression. Maybe you could try something like that. At first it just made me tired, but the last couple of days I have been feeling better. I even washed the dishes yesterday. There is always hope though. Don't ever give up on that. I'm sorry that you have felt this way for so long and I hope that soon you find some kind of relief. Please keep us posted and I'm always here to talk to, just a message away.

04/10/2011 04:05 PM
MineForLife
MineForLifePosts: 287
Member

Yes, it is indeed hard, and although I have not been on as many trial and errors of meds, I still feel somewhat unsuccessful with my current course of treatment. I especially feel that alot of the times doctors are just concerned about naming and labeling disorders so that identifying the underlying predominate symptoms are somewhat ignored, because of preconceived ideas of a certain illness/disorder.

There is so, so, so much more that goes into mental health then just meds, and talk therapy...even though both are very important in creating a whole picture for mental well being. However nutrition is also pretty important, as is our social lives, our passions in life, our beliefs, philosophy and general outlook of both our lives and the world as a whole. I know it is so hard to even do anything when depressed or concentrate on anything in particular, but sometimes changing things around can help lessen the symptoms for depression. For example, when I am capable of avoiding the heavy use and abuse of refined carbs, sugars and so fourth, I feel slightly better, well at least a lot of my guilt feelings diminish but the underlying sadness is still present. But it is still better.

Also not being able to associate with others within your social circle, can make you feel alienated and worsen depression even further. Sometimes part of our moods are dramatically intensified or lessened because of our current feelings. Hang in there though, it's well possible that things will change and you will feel much much better. Think of things that can be holding you down. Is it possible that there can be a paperweight on top of a piece of cardboard (or piece of wood), maybe you can try looking into that? (Metaphor for a depression being intensified because something is holding it down, making sure it doesn't go anywhere).

I know that a lot of this sounds ridiculous and quite obvious, but sometimes we miss the obvious. I really hope you feel better soon and find something that works for you, if possible, try to remember happier times, you always got there eventually right? Much, much luck redphoenix, I'm cheering for you =D


04/10/2011 04:37 PM
willowwisp
Posts: 421
Member

do you think that it is possible that you are on too much medication? I remember my mother in law, being so depressed all the time that she couldn't get out of bed.. well.. she was on a ton of mood stablizers and anti-depressants... and it wasn't until they started weening her off that she actually started to feel better...

04/10/2011 05:31 PM
redphoenix
redphoenix  
Posts: 1192
VIP Member

WW, I have thought about that before. I'm on so much medication that I don't know what's doing what. I don't know what's working and what's not. The mood stablizers obviously aren't working. Actually, I don't think anything is working. I had asked my pdoc a few weeks back what would happen if we stopped everything and just started over. His answer was "probably a three month hospital stay"...Grrr... I'm so frustrated. I will talk to him about it again tomorrow and see what he says now.
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