Bipolar Type II Support Group

Any advice would be much appreciated...

I am a stay at home mother of 3 (1, 3 and 17) and a wife of 11 years with BP2.

About a month ago I began feeling the urge to run away from being a wife and a mother. I love my family but I feel smothered and out of control mentally and emotionally. I am somewhat resentful and angry because all I want to do is rest...sleep...do nothing...be left alone!

I need a break and don't have any family to help me with the younger kids...can't afford daycare. Can't work to afford daycare....a rock and a hard place.

Inpatient hospitilazation?????????????????

People don't understand, they tell me I just need to do the right thing. Doing one thing a day can be a challenge. My therapist is really after me on taking small doable steps and only doing a few a day and not getting involved in new parts of life until I am done with others. I really need to focus on one thing at a time and only have a few things on my plate at a time. Out there people are doing everything, they say they have fun but some sure are not, like me! Here's to a slow life!!

You tell them what you need, taking care of children is a big deal that is way underappreciated.

I understand how you feel. I wanted to run away for so long. I would think about it all the time. I don't know when I stopped kidding myself... I knew I couldn't go anywhere. But when I said that I thought about it all the time, I mean ALL the time. I discussed this with my therapist for quite a while. We talked about why I wanted to leave and made some progress. I guess I finally accepted the fact that I had children that need me. I could never do that to them... but I thought about it. Anyway, I hope this helps you know that you're not alone. Taking care of kids is hard. I have to muster the energy everyday to do it. Try to work with your therapist to get through this. It will pass.

I know how you feel. I have 4 kids (17, 14, 11, 10), and have been married for 16 years next week. If you want to talk you can always message me.

Tracey

Having small kids is particularly difficult because their needs are always immediate needs. It's draining by far. Also, not receiving the emotional support that you need at home can also cause you to feel the way you do. You don't want to leave your family - you just need some understanding and perhaps even a small break. Is there a way that you can work it out with your husband that a certain night a week is all yours and no one elses? And perhaps you can work it out with him that you have a romantic dinner once every couple of weeks with him after the kids are fed? You definitely need more support in order to be a good wife and mother. Everyone in your family would want that outcome.

I know exactly what you are talking about and I only have one child. When he was young, I had a real hard time with him. I just wanted to be left along. I needed my own time, but could never get it. Does your husband support you? He should take on the kids every once in awhile and let you do your own thing. Give you some space. It's hard being a mother and being around your kids all of the time. You have to have a break at times. I hope you are able to get this break here in the near future and that your husband or someone can help you out with the kids. I'm very sorry you are feeling this way. It's an awful feeling never getting your own time to yourself.

I understand completely. I at one point had an escape plan...where I was going to go what I was going to do ect. I then took the step to go back to therapy. It helped a ton! I even brought my hubby to a few sessions back then to get him on the same page with what I was thinking. I hope things get easier for you! Take care!

When I went through this, well I still am some days...but working through it and know it's not a reality, I told my husband about it. I felt awful for it. The the worst mother on earth. I just didn't like being a mom anymore. I felt like I completely lost me...I am slowly coming back tho. Just don't give up and be as honest as you can with your husband and make sure he pays attention and you get the help you need. It is not selfish to take time for you and make people adhere to it. "If Mom's not happy, no one is happy"...

Thanks for all of your support and advice, I am so glad I found this site.

Luckily, I have an amazing husband that understands (or tries at least) and is extremly supportive. I do go out every Friday night with the girls. And my husband has worked it out that this week my mother in law is taking the younger kids for a few days and my sister in law is also taking them for a few days.

Thanks again!