Bipolar Type II Support Group

I have been off all my meds for a while and doing well until about a month or so ago. I'm under exstreme stress and recently have been threatened to be fired from my job becuase of my extreme anger and "attitude". I went to my Psych and she started me back on two of my meds (serequel at night to sleep and lamictal) but she also gave me Xanax to bring me down a notch. Well, the anger is all but gone but now I am soooo depressed. It is aweful. I slept all weekend; didn't want to get out of bed when I was awake. Did make it in to work today but just want to get out of here ASAP. I'm have flashes of suicidal thoughts crossing my mind. I know its just the meds but can anyone suggest something to get me through the next few days?

Thanks to all,

Cathi

It's good that you are getting back on your medications. We need medications to become stable. I'm concerned about your suicidal thoughts. I think you should call your psychiatrist and let her know that you are having these. The medications should not be making you suicidal. There is something wrong here. Give her a call and explain what you are feeling and ask her to change something. That would scare the hell out of me. I can understand being tired, but not the thoughts. I hope you do call her. I also hope that you can hang onto your job. If you can get through this medication problem, I think you will be just fine. I'm glad the anger is gone. I hate that there is depression. Let us know what happens. We care very much about you.

Lamictal takes a long time to build up in your system because you have to go slowly so you don't get a rash. Give it a chance to get to a therapeutic level. It does help with depression. Also, maybe you need to be on an antidepressant for a little while. Definitely call your pdoc and find out what to do.

Thanks guys, I appreciate the responses. There are just so many things ending in my life right now I just am not sure what to do. I know I need to get back into some counseling but my boss has been complaining about me being out for so many Dr. appts and things so I feel trapped.

Wow Cathi, I have been through the exact same thing. I unfortunately was fired from my job in June of 2009 because of my anger and "attitude". Not only was I angry at work but going through depression too. Being fired was devastating and made the depression so much worse. The Lamictal has helped immensely with the anger issues and I take 10mg of Lexapro for the depression. I agree, maybe you do need an antidepressant. I hope things get better for you at work.

I have tried many meds and am currently (for last 6 months or so) on Quetiapine fumarate, lamotrigine and paroxetine. Seems okay and leveled me out a bit. Regardless of what I am on, there is always a darkside simmering under the surface. I think about suicide all the time, and have urges that surge at times. What gets me through that is that I tell myself that I am aware of those thoughts and they are just thoughts and they will pass, whether in an hour the next day or a day or two. for me just acknowledging the thoughts are there confirms to me that even though I may not be able to stop those thoughts, I know they can't control my actions. good luck

Here's what I did in a very, very similar situation, and it saved my job and income:

(1) Made an appointment with my psychiatrist and told my boss that's where I was going;

(2) Went to the pdoc, who adjusted meds and wrote a medical note for 2 weeks off work, which I turned into my employer that same day (who then could not fire me);

(3) Saw my pdoc the day before I was supposed to return to work. He felt I was not ready and wrote another note saying I was disabled and needed to be off work for 30 days for medical reasons. The medical excuse must be turned in by the day you are scheduled to return to work in order to keep your job. My pdoc did a state disability application. (I received state disability income for bipolar disorder.)

(4) The pdoc may write rxs for 6mos off at a time. You may return to work when well.

(5) This should protect your job. Check your employee manual and laws carefully. Check your state disability site carefully.

Thanks so much for everyone sharing their stories. It's nice to know I'm not alone.

Lamictal will take a little time to kick in, I'm on 300mg and it works pretty good to stable moods.

I'm with Joy about the suicidal thoughts I would call the pdoc and find out what we/she thinks. I know how that feel been there many many times and its no fun.

I've been depressed most my life and attempted suicide at least 4 times. Better to call the pdoc before it gets worse.

peace& hugs

Rick