Bipolar Type II Support Group

Three months ago I started medication for my recently diagnose bipolar. I am grateful for the diagnosis and for the meds. Now that the meds are working and I am not on a blind high (that is the best way to discribe my espisods)I find myself married to a man that everyone of my friends and family said that I should not marry. Now I understand why they told me don't do it. This man and I were together for 4 months and broke up 5 years ago. I was pregnant and he did not want the baby. He moved in with an other woman. Though we were no longer together and he clearly did not want my baby, I still continued having sex with him because I convinced myself he still loved me. Then he disappeared for a year, he showed up again a year ago last December. I thought his return was a sign from God that he and I should be together. This man is illegal and does not speak English. At the time of our marriage, I believed that I loved him and that this marriage could work. Boy was I blinded by the light. How the hell does a marriage work if you can't talk to each other. We have started the process of getting legal status for him and we have an interview with immagration in 2 weeks. I don't feel good about this anymore.. Do I tell immigration that before I was diagnosed with Bipolar it made sense to marry this man, but now that I am on meds I know that I can not stay married to this person and I now I believe that he probably came back and told me he loved me so that I would marry him and help him get his papers. What is amazing is that I just got diagnosed with Bipolar, though this is the most complicated situation I have found myself in, there have been many more before this. AUGH

Post edited by: davidsmother, at: 01/27/2011 04:54 PM

Welcome to the group, I am glad you found us.

I fully agree with MissHildy. This man is bad for you and you need to take care of yourself. He's never taken care of you or your child, you owe him nothing and it sounds like he is using you. Talk to him now and end it. I know it is hard but it definitely sounds like the right thing to do.

Ih, and I don't think you even need to bring up the BP, just say you have had a change of heart and you don't want him in your life anymore. It sounds like it is time to move on without him in order for you to be healthy.

I agree with the others... you don't need to bring up your BP but just explain that he hasn't been a good father or husband and you're ready to get a divorce. It really sounds like he used you, and I'm sorry you went through that. Focus on yourself and not his problems. It sounds like you're a lot stronger than you were before being dx, so use that strength in doing what you feel is right in your heart.

Thank you all for being there!!! I have been struggling with this, but you are all right, his legal status is not my problem. That is so hard to say, I have taken on all of his crap. We are going to a translator next week and I am going to have to tell him that I can not go through this and that we need to divorce. UGH this so sucks.

yha! me too. ive been in a few relationships that did not end well. since i just thought i was crazy and a bitch,and since i dont have good selfconfidence every man that treated me just a little good,i thought i was in love.they did the same as your man,the leaving for weeks at a time,comes back like he never left. i would go find him,fight,make him come back.i married 2times and knew before that i shouldnt have both of them.both times the man didnt want to get married but we did.anyway since ive been medicated and have a diagnoses.i dont feel the need to have anyone in my life at this time. im doing well on my own. not to say that one day i will find someone to love me the way i am.for now work on yourself. dont marry him!!! the first time he left you should have been the last. dont feel bad about it. do what you need to do for you. hope it goes well.ill say a prayer for you and him.again do for you luv dar

Definitely get a divorce and away from him. He's run off on you before and doesn't care about the child? I'm so glad that you have gotten help and are on medications. This is a very good thing and you sound like you are becoming stable. You have your head on your shoulders and are thinking properly now. He isn't right for you at all and it sounds like a giant headache to me. I'm sorry all of this happened to you and you got married to him. You can fix this though. You have the strength to. I'm glad you joined the group. Reach out to us and we will help you. A lot of support is given here and you we will help you as much as we can. Keep up the good work. You are doing good. Welcome to the group!

I agree with the others and would add that you probably should go see a lawyer before your appointment with the translator and just have them draw up papers for your husband to sign so that the translator can read the papers to him and see if he'll sign them. Otherwise, you'll be going back to the translator again anyway. You also probably should have the advice of a lawyer anyway.

Best to you......Glad to see you are becoming stable.