Better Off Not Knowing??

My pdoc has been asking me the last few visits on things that I can say positive about myself.. I bottle up, I go blank..I just can't do it. She asked me if she could say some things about me & I couldnt let her..I felt so stupid..I told her if she said them, I wouldnt believe them anyways!Is that ok?Or should I let her say those good things about me, even tho I wouldnt believe them..I guess I need to start somewhere, someone saying good things about me is way better than what I say to myself..She told me it takes baby steps...When cleaning out the bathroom sink say to yourself 'i did a great job cleaning out the sink' 'I did a great job vaccuming the floor'. If I can look in the mirror and say 'i look good in blue' or when Im talking bad about myself, look in the mirror and say 'Talking bad about myself is only going to hurt me worse, so we aren't going there today' focus energy on something else. It sounded crazy at first, but I guess those baby steps could lead into something bigger?

I have discovered that I am a rapid cycler. My moods are up and down like crazy. I sleep good one night but the next I can't hardly sleep at all..I'm not sure what to do about it, one hour is not enough time to fit everything in for me LOL..

I have an appoinment to get some medication adjustments on Weds morning..

Went to lunch with my husband today & I was talking to him about my visit. I told him that I feel like I dont deserve ANYTHING ever. He said he doesnt understand where I get that thinking..He said some really good things about me today, made me cry in Taco Bell LOL..He told me he has been patient with me because he knows the real person, and the way I act is not my fault & that I am a good person, great mother and a great wife..And that I deserve the best in the world...

Thanks for listening, just needed someone to run my thoughts across to!

Amber

Sometimes it is very hard to accept something, like compliments, diagnosis, etc... my baby brother told me that when he was given the diagnosis of MS, it was like a wieght had been lifted off his shoulders, at first I found that kinda hard to understand, as MS will eventually cause him to be put in a wheelchair, it is causing him to lose his sight and his memory..but after a while, I understood what it meant, he finally had an answer. I felt the same way when I finally got my diagnosis, I finally had a answer for what has been going on with me. It explained my rages, panic attacks, the constant thought of wanting to leave this world.. it explained the pain that I suffered. It lifted a wieght off my shoulders, and I can now get up and do something about it, I can take medications to help stable me out.. I can attend therapy and do more than sit there crying and not have a clue as to why I am using up all her kleenex..

Let your diagnosis be the life line that you need to pull yourself up to a better life..

Hugs

Carmen

I can think of one really positive thing to say to you: You're a very smart lady! Very smart for seeking not only counseling, but this group!

I’m sure I’m not the only person who can relate to the “giving a name to it”. I was really quite upset when the doctor said I was BP II and in denial those first few days. I can tell you though, that I feel soooo much better now that I am taking the medicine he gave me. And having missed my dose, twice now I think, in only two weeks…geez, I definitely think he “hit the nail on the head” with my diagnosis. And after talking to my husband and other friends I feel better about it. They were like “you know it’s an illness, no different than diabetes or high blood pressure. You take your meds and monitor yourself and do the best you can!”

Your husband sounds like a doll, as is mine. That’s so great! See, that’s another thing positive to say about you: You picked a great guy to marry!!

I’m glad you’re here!!

hugs, Inga

Inga - Glad you are here as well!

Amber

Inga