Bipolar Type II Support Group

I didn't want to go to this family dinner because every night this week I have been cycling into severe depression. However my mother and brother were in from out of town so I could not justify not going. It was a disaster. I spent half of the meal thinking of how I wish I could smile and laugh and not have to live with this BP and I wish I just had a normal brain. Then I left the table and just couldn't stop bawling my eyes out. My husband took me home an hour into dinner and the worst is that my mother had to see me so sad. It is so embarrassing and the depression was so severe it just scared me. I went home and increased my lamictal but I am terrified these meds aren't working. I am not willing to change. Worst comes to worst I just live my life around this crazy cycling and put up with the consequences. I just hate when others see me so uncontrollably depressed.

I'm sorry dinner didn't go well Janna,

Its not like you had control over whats going on with your emotions. At least you tried. I'm sure your mom will understand

that you have no control of it. I know my mom knows I have no control but doesn't understand BP at all. You did your best and thats something to be proud of. I would have isolated in my room playing video games and watching the weather channel.

(((((((HUGS)))))))

You'll get through this it just takes time.

Thanks so much Rick! That makes me feel better.

That sounds awful for you. You couldn't help it though Jana, you can't control your emotions when you are like this. You are up and down and all around on this roller coaster. Does your family understand about bipolar? If they do, then they will understand why you had to leave. I'm sorry the night turned out this way. The thoughts you were thinking didn't help anything, but you can't control those either. I hope the Lamictal helps with this depression. It's a really good drug. Don't be embarrassed, you don't have anything to be embarrassed about. Give medications a chance. You can't live like this, this is awful for you. We'll be here for you right by your side. Hope you are feeling a little better this morning.

Thank you so much Joy. My brother and sister-in law understand because she has BP 1 (but know one other than me knows that). My family understands about Depression but not Bipolar. And since mine is so rare even though I explain it, it's hard to understand it unless they are with me for a whole day. But I am trying to get everyone together for lunch today so they can see me in a better mood. I just really don't like the kids seeing me like that. I am lucky that they are as understanding as they are though. My sister emailed me that she was still glad that I came. Your support means so much to me! Thank you again Joy.

xo

Janna

I know it's heartbreaking when my mother sees me when I'm depressed or irritable. She feels helpless and she then tries to blame things like the meds I'm taking or the doctors. It turns into her pushing my buttons because she doesn't understand. It's her fear for me, though, that is heartbreaking to me and the fact she has to watch me suffer. That's a great idea to have a get-together over lunch. You're doing the best you can, and it sounds like you're being so strong!