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12/31/2010 02:05 AM

Talking to mom about my mental health issues

illonasophia
illonasophiaPosts: 149
Member

My mom has been willing to let me stay with her since I have been unemployed and is willing to help me with any paperwork or other that I need to because of what I am going through.

I really wan to talk to her about a few topics but I am afraid since she is easily angry, I hate conflict and criticism so this a situation I avoid hence more unresolved issues to have conflict over Sad

Any suggestions are greatly appreciated. thanx illona

1. I wanted to talk to her about not using my car for a while to not pay insurance since I have no money and if she is willing to bring me to my therapy, med appointment once a month. I am not sure how to approach her and how to deal with if she gets mad. Any suggestions?

2. Since am really bad managing my money I was going to ask her if I could give her my paychecks when I get work. Is this ok to do? If so what do I say?

3. I wanted to talk to her about how she gets mad at me easily, brushes off my concerns, does not compliment me and is very distant when I try to talk to her or ask for help regarding my mental health. I really need to talk about these three things with her but it is all to much. I am worried about bringing up one and just shutting down because that goes badly. What do I do to stay motivated and how do I break it down into what she can handle? I am very scared at the idea of talking to her? She is supportive about letting me stay there but emotionally or mentally.

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12/31/2010 02:24 AM
mem4809

My opinion and suggestions--not law!

Car: You might start off the conversation with "Mom, I have a favour to ask you, if it's too much for you, please just tell me, I will understand."

Pay check "Mom, I really want to learn to be independent with managing my money. You have been a great role model and I wonder if you could mentor me a bit with this. For starters maybe we could set up a joint account and help me manage my pay checks" I would ask her this once you start a job.

Getting your mom to understand:

Perhaps deal with it one item at a time. Make sure you do not accuse her of anything or else she will get defensive. Maybe approach her to say, Mom, I am really sensitive to things you say to me. Iwish you could be more accepting of me. You know I love you. So defuse her anger by using some sweet talk while also expressing your feeling--but take responsibility for your feelings.

I am curious to learn what others suggest.

Janna


12/31/2010 12:47 PM
illonasophia
illonasophiaPosts: 149
Member

Thank you Janna

12/31/2010 12:58 PM
RickEJ
RickEJ  
Posts: 7404
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

That's a great suggestion kind of like the sandwich technique GOOD - BAD - GOOD it actually works very well.

Good luck with that and keep us posted on how its working for you.


12/31/2010 09:15 PM
Joy75
Joy75  
Posts: 16598
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

I think Janna has a good thing going on when she said what she said. This is a good plan that you can use to go about asking her. You are thinking and helping yourself and I think your mother will see this and will want to help you out with the driving and keeping of your paycheck. I hope that when you two have your talk that she does not get defensive, she shouldn't if you are talking to her in a calm way and that she will understand. I think maybe she just doesn't understand the mental illness side of things. She could be scared of it maybe. Believe in yourself. You can get through this. I believe in you!
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