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05/15/2010 04:38 PM

pregnant

usmcwife
usmcwife  
Posts: 293
Member

I had a few questions. I've been diagnosed by 3 different doctors. The 1st time I was only 15, then 17, then 18. I was a "cutter" in early high school and I attempted suicide in 07. Every time I get on meds I just quit, because I never really feel a difference. And I hate having to go to the psych to tell them how it's going when i really don't feel a difference. I'm starting to wonder now if I'm actually even bipolar. In high school I definately did all of the typical risky behavior stuff. Alot of sex alot and alot of drinking and just getting myself into situations that I could have ended up dead. Ohhh and every eating disorder in the book. Anorexia, bulimia, laxatives, taking adderall. And when I felt "hyper" I would shop and shop and try to get drunk and I could never drink enough to feel drunk. When i felt depressed I "cut".

But now that I'm a few years older and married... things have changed a bit. But I had a drinking problem the first few months of my marriage and I had a month long affair with the neighbor. My husband took me back and I stopped the partying. I found out I was pregnant last month and quit the drinking all together.... but now I feel like when I'm "hyper" I just clean EVERYTHING and try to take my dog out for really looooong walks to calm down. And when I get really angry I go back to "cutting". That's only been twice since I've been married. But I say some really messed up things...

my biggest trigger is disapontment. Like ummm when my husband watches porn. I feel like I'm huge now that I'm pregnant I've been eating 3 healthy meals a day... and not throwing them up or popping pills.. So my body is like "food???" and it's sticking to me. But I know I need to be healthy for the baby

And now that I'm pregnant, I don't know if it's just my changing hormones, but I've been super tired. Like just laying on my butt all day. No cleaning, no cooking. I don't want to go out. I'm gaining weight and I feel horrible. And my sex drive is like way down. It's been like this for a good 3 weeks straight. So I'm wondering am I just feeling "down" or is it the pregnancy?? I haven't seen a psych in over a year now.. IDK what I need to do.

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05/15/2010 04:53 PM
santos63
santos63  
Posts: 2524
Senior Member

You need to tell your OB/GYN about the Bipolar and see a pdoc. You only want to take meds that are safe for the baby, and you may want to just stay away from meds while pregnant. But now is a good time to find out about the Bipolar-while you are sober and not self medicating.

05/15/2010 05:30 PM
MissStacey
MissStacey  
Posts: 14845
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

I just answered this same exact post in another thread. Good Luck!

05/16/2010 12:17 PM
Joy75
Joy75  
Posts: 16594
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

Hi, I agree with santos that you should talk to a pdoc and tell your ob/gyn because there very well could be some meds you could take while prego. I'm thinking a lot of the tiredness is probably because you are prego. The eating could be either or or both. The baby needs the food though so don't stop eating. You want him/her to be healthy. I usually eat a lot when I'm depressed. I hope you feel better. Hugs

05/18/2010 06:53 AM
jjdrayton
jjdrayton  
Posts: 42
Member

As everyone else said please talk to your doctor due the pregnancy.

As for the questioning of the BP, I could have written that post about 6 months ago (except I had other issues then cutting and eating disorders).

I had a long history of diagnosis, didn't believe it, felt the mania (although I didn't really acknowledge it as mania at the time) was harnessed for good, dealt with the depression through self-medication, felt I wasn't seeing change, thought I could get the drinking under control - most of the time it was okay after all - until the next time I got drunk.

I put my marriage under significant strain, couldn't trust my feelings, moods and impulses and did damage to my relationships.

I finally reached a breaking point, which was more about accumulation and self-awareness then a particular episode, went back to my pdoc, got on a different med (this time finally being honest that the other hadn't really done what it was supposed to - and feeling that I deserved better) and low and behold I am stable for the first time in a long time and am so relieved.

Don't give up hope that there is something out there for you (even if it comes after the pregnancy), and best of luck starting this wonderful family of yours.

Take care and I hope you feel better.

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