Bipolar Type II Support Group

My 19 year old son was just diagnosed with Bipolar II in November. I don't know anyone with this. He is in College in San Diego and we live in Maryland. He for the first time, is really struggling to get any kind of grades in school.School has always come easy for him. At Christmas his medicine seemed to be working great and he was really doing well for two months. Now he seems depressed on the phone. He says that he is just tired. His grades are still not great this semester. Should I encourage him to come home and have no courses under his belt from a year of expensive college? Should I let him stay and try to get a "C"???? Should I try to wait and let it all come from him?? I don't want to push him and make anything worse. I just don't know what to do.

I recently just had to move back into my mother's house, after being out on my own. It was the hardest thing I had to face and had me spiral into a deep depression. I would say, see what your son wants to do. Moving back home might be harder for him then trying to tough it out at school.

I went through something like this when I was at post-grad school in San Francisco. I was away from home and on my own. Though I should have loved it, the anxiety got to me. All the pressure to succeed after spending so much on tuition, getting to know so many new people (I have social anxiety disorder in addition to BPII) and just being alone in a big city. I cried on the phone with my mother many times. It got so bad one time that after I hung up the phone she went right out and bought a plane ticket and showed up at my school the next day. I made it through, but it was an awful experience. I was a 4.0 student in high school and near that in undergrad. I got my first C in post-grad and it was devastating. I wish I would've been strong enough to quit. I think you need to talk with him and see what he thinks. Make sure he knows that his happiness is what's important to you, not the money. Make sure he knows you'll support him whether he wants to come home or stay and finish it out. Is he seeing a pdoc at school? If not, he needs to find one just to get out all the emotion to a "neutral" party. If he's anything like me he's pushing through because he doesn't want to feel himself a failure or let his illness get the best of him. Sorry this is a little rambling. Hope it makes some sense.

I agree, ask him. Try and find out what he wants to do. Its difficult, if he is to stay he needs some support structure and acsess to a pdoc to help him cope. Well thats my opinion. Good luck.. T. And Welcome to the Forum...

Post edited by: Tommy100, at: 03/29/2010 10:58 AM

I agree that he should see a pdoc and see what kind of support he can be offered. I think that it should be his decision whether or not to stick it out in school or to come home. I would just be as supportive as possible. It sounds like you are doing a good job at that. Keep at it.

much like the others I encourage you to help him find a Psychiatrist. Therapy and the propers meds can make the difference. It can be a frustrating process when trying get stable. Keep the lines of communication open, you are on the front line of his support system. Not knowing his history I can't say for sure, but he is still recently diagnosed and could be struggling with that.

Post edited by: RadioGuy, at: 03/30/2010 02:35 AM

Does he have a pdoc where he is going to school, if not he should find one and he should go see them and talk to them about how he is feeling and if needed have his meds adjusted. He should have to leave school, it would be great for him to keep as much normalcy as possible in his life while trying to gain stability. He is already enrolled in school and it would be excellent for him to complete it. Coming him could cause him to feel like a failure and possibly make an even bigger set back in his progress. That is just my opinion. I wish you the best of luck and hope everything works out well for your son.

Hi there. I don't really have anything else to add because the others have already touched on everything I would have said. I agree with the pdoc and med adjustment. I also agree that by allowing him to come home it might also set him back into a worse depression. If he can see first if a med adjustment helps I would go that route. At any rate I would see what he wants to do and encourage him to do what makes him happy. I think you are already supporting him very well. Stick around and read the posts and maybe it will help you understand bp II better. Good luck!

Some people tend to mistake hypomania/mania for "doing great" some times but almost always see the depression as "doing bad". This is a constant cycle for bipolars. Anyone unable to deal with both evenly should see a pdoc and/or a tdoc.

There is not a whole lot you can do as a seperate person except offer your insight to your child, however, alot of children will not confide in their parents with there most intimate of details and problems so a third party, such as a shrink may be of good use.

Just be there for emotional support and offer encouragement but not so much as to be overly demanding or pushy. This will turn people away.

Thank you for responding. It really does help.