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07/13/2008 09:17 PM

Bad Decisions: Bipolar or me?

EvieLou
EvieLouPosts: 5
New Member

OK, I've been super depressed since I left my fiance 7 months ago.I cannot get over it.I'm questioning if my bipolar is making it harder for me to move on.I've been so lonely and all the dates I've been on have ALL been first dates and thats it! I've just had no chemistry with any guys. Well, this week was so bad at work and Ive missed Jay so much that I just stayed drunk all weekend.One of my guy friends was at the wedding I was in and we hung out with everyone in the wedding.When everyone went home it turned out to be just us.Seriouly, we ended up sleeping together. His wife is in another state and dosen't want to live with him and I've been there for him but never meant for this to happen.We knew the next day how bad we messed up.I'm a good woman and have NEVER done anything like this before.How could I let something like this happen.I refuse to blame it on my bipolar.But has anyones depression been an influence on thir decisons?I feel beyond guilty and just plain messed up,for real,I can't believe I did this!I've already vowed to myself and God this will never happen again and I have to fight my depresseion and loneliness!!!Any words of wisdom?
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07/13/2008 09:31 PM
morningglory/oldglory
glory  
Posts: 3668
VIP Member

You don't need words of wisdom, you need only to forgive yourself. We all do things we aren't proud of. Your greatest knowledge, sometimes comes from your greatest mistakes. You learn from it and remember the bad feelings you had so you don't repeat. Evie, we're just human. We fall down and pick ourselves up all the time. I have been bipolar my whole life, I'm 58, and I can't say that my mental illness has ever been the only cause of some of the mistakes I have made. Maybe, just maybe it played a part. If I had had brown eyes instead of blue would there have been a difference in the number of mistakes I made?? I don't think there is any one reason we err, we just aren't perfect. Stop beating yourself up, tomorrow is a brand new day & a fresh new start.

07/14/2008 02:21 AM
carmen33
carmen33  
Posts: 8702
VIP Member

Glory is right forgive yourself for your mistake and move on, get to your doctor for advice about the depression, although it could be from the loss of the relationship with your fiance, that is something that happens to people..

07/14/2008 08:44 AM
bfosterl
 
Posts: 28
Member

I suffer from clinical depression and "yes" it has made me make bad choices. THats why most dr's and therapist will tell you never make any big choices when depressed or manic. Forgive yourself. I've been there. Alcohol and bad depression usually result in bad choices, like I've said, I've done it. My ex gf has bipolar and I hope the choices shes making in her life are due to her mania right nbow. Sad

07/26/2008 07:42 AM
bigdogsrule

"THats why most dr's and therapist will tell you never make any big choices when depressed or manic. ''

Man, it took me years to learn this but I did learn it. It's been of incalculable help. I learned this prior to my diagnosis but I'm 54. I've had a lot of years to learn...

Over indulging in alcohol usually leads to poor decisions on it's own. Over indulging is kind of a bad decision in itself! Smile

bdr


07/27/2008 12:10 AM
eevans521
eevans521  
Posts: 4
Member

Hang in there - it won't always be this hard.

07/28/2008 06:48 PM
Rambeling
 
Posts: 2
New Member

I've made plenty of bad decisions like this in my life. I think when we are sick we look for things that will make us better, and for some of us sex is a drug just like alcohol or gambling, or spending money. And while Bipolar can't make you do something, it can sure do a heck of a lot of prodding. Second guessing is also a pretty good sign you're a little manic. Racing thoughts, regret, bad decisions. All these things come with the territory. I did notice one glaring thing that you could try changing if you're really serious about improving. That would be sobriety. People with Bipolar can't handle drugs like normal people can. We're already unbalanced and depressed and open to suggestion without throwing in a chemical that enhances all those negative things. Especially if you're on prescription medication, alcohol can really trigger both manic and depressive episodes. While I may or may not be an alcoholic, I know that my Bipolar can't handle it and that is why I had to stop drinking. Also, try not to beat yourself up about things. Realize you need to make some changes and work on them, that's how you make it better.
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