Vicki1976
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I don't know how to start. I met Anthony a year ago and thought he was somone else. I've realized slowly that he has bi polar disorder and has been using pot since he was a teenager on a daily basis to keep himself even keeled. I myself am on anti-deppressants-so when I saw his pain-episodes-ect I've tried to help him. He gets very angry with the word bi-polar although I tell him it's nothing to be ashamed of. He's 33. Surprizly he took my advise and saw a psyciotrist and is on depoke (somthing like that). He's better but still gets angry over nothing I mean normal everyday stuff. He broke up with me out of the blue a few months ago and moved all my stuff out of the apartment with no warning and brought it to his mothers. Believe it or not he i've felt that he is the man of my dreams-I've read that you shouldnt confuse the Bi-polar disorder with the person but it is hard. He's very hard to get along with at times and extremely irrational and blows everything up in his mind. He always tells me he doesnt want to hurt me and crys. I"m so angry and sad at the same time. He won't get too close to me and I really don't knwo how to cope with this. He will not admit that he's bi-polar and unless he comes to terms with it so he can address it properly I do not think we have a future. He is under a doctor's care but the med's are not strong enough he still needs to smoke pot. Am I wrong for wanting to love him so much? Am I wrong that I want him to help himself so we could have a future? Is a future even possible with a bi-polar person? How do I get him to not be ashamed of it? Why does he say this is who he is and even feels he gets respect by acting out somtimes? Is it normail for bi-polar people to get mad and go into there own world mumbling words being angry? After he gets like that he is so aplogetic and feels EXTREMELY guilty? Would I be crossing the line if I called his doctor to tell him I don't think the medicine is strong enought? I'm so frusterated because I don't know how to help him and I love him so much. |
