just looking for someone that lives with bi polar

Post edited by: KJR, at: 06/11/2008 22:17

For a long time everything in our relationship was my fault from my wifes perspective. There is a tendancy to hurt the ones that are closest to them the most. I don't know where it comes from, I just know it happens. Been several discussions on the bipolar forum discussing this. The bright spot, she is going to the doctor and she is talking it out to them. She is trying to get the help she needs and deserves.

Don't take the things she says personally. It really isn't personal, sometimes it is just a manifestation of the bipolar.

I tend to go back to the Bible for my point of reference on many things. Read 1 Corinthians chapter 13, best explanation I have ever found on how we are to Love one another.

While a relationship with someone that has bipolar is not easy, it is also by no means impossible either. My wife and I are living proof of that.

Welcome KJR, keep coming back and learning all you can about bipolar. Feel free to join in anywhere. I am here most any time, you can PM me if you want to talk. Hang in there, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

GOD BLESS

RED

Post edited by: red1965, at: 06/10/2008 00:16

I would advise you to seek therapy as well, it is something that may help you pull through emotionally and give you the strength to help her more as well.

(maybe I should take my own advice.:/)

She has always been miserable and had trouble identifying her emotions. The problems really started for us last year when she decided that I was the cause of her misery. She hated her life AND ME. To be fair to her, we didn't know that she had this illness - it had never crossed our minds. I always thought she acted like an addict (because I am a recovering alcoholic) but for the life of me could not figure out what she was addicted to. She never had a "problem" with anything in particular.

This diagnoses at least gave us answers. But it hasn't been easy. She has been weaning off the wrong meds and getting on the right meds. Holy up and down. One minute she's ready to pack up and move on...the next she is willing to stay but lets me know that I am the root of her problems. She really can't help it. Who would chose this roller coaster?

I keep looking for results. On this forum I have learned that it is going to take a long time for the meds to work. I have been ready to throw in the towel more then once.

My argument for staying is that she is on meds and going faithfully to therapy. If she is willing to do that, then there is hope it will get better. You will find on this forum that not all SO's are willing to do even that. In that case, there is very little hope.

We have a family, we are a family. Red is right about Corinthians. I am not religous at all, but I do love that passage. Red reminded me of it a while back and I went out and bought a plaque that had it. I hung it up so I could be reminded every day.

something pulls us together that is powerfull and we grow together taking interest in our lets call it spiritual paths. (not a paticular religion) i am refering to the internal growth beliefs that we have as individuals and as mates.

for some reason one of us takes a road off path and we begin the process of growing apart.

and when the one of us struggles with something the one growing away becomes unattatched even more.

we all can look back on old freinds and see that what we had in common with them just does not seem the same years later.

I try to look at it in a way that all relationships creat us in a good and bad way.

It is up to us to look inside of ourselfs and see how we grew and improved our personalities.

we choose if it is neggative or positive growth.

I do know if i loose my wife for any reason i do know that i have grown my self in more positive ways then neggative.

It would be the saddest day of my life and would probably struggle for a while.

Are you normal? Yes

are you abnormal?

well I do not think youre abnormal.

I hope you look at your good and be confident in who you are and know how you have contributed to your growth

we are all worthwhile

best of luck

As someone with bipolar, your post made me see things from the other persons point of view. I struggled with bipolar for probably eight years before I went and got help about a month ago. In the last two years, my life has gotten... well, crazy doesn't begin to describe it.

A brief run down. I've been married for 11 years, separated from my spouse for 2 years. Gotten pregnant with a current BF right after the separation and have been in emotional turmoil since. My husband (we still haven’t divorced) and my BF, as well as my kids and myself seem to be stuck in this chaotic life I’ve put everyone in.

I hate to think I’ve been selfish, but I dare say I believe I have been. After being dx’d I finally thought… okay, now I can figure this out. But, honestly, even before then I didn’t give a lot of thought to my husband or BF. These days my BF has the worst end of the stick, because we are in different states (long story involving a burned house and lots of fights) and everything he does seems to just trigger a rage inside me.

I can tell you, from a bipolar persons perspective. It’s not easy learning that you have to take medicine and you’re viewed as imbalanced. But I’m sure she wants to help herself so she can be the best person she can be. I also know that learning your bipolar and getting help does make you view your whole life. I’ve reflected on every decision I’ve made for the last decade, wondering if I should have done this or shouldn’t have done that. It’s a wild ride, and getting help for yourself is/was the best thing you could do for yourself. Don’t take any of it personal, regardless of what you two decide.

I’m not sure if any of that helped you. But I’m having to rush to get kids ready for trips to grandpa’s. I’ll check back later.

TC,

Babydoll