Bipolar Type II Support Group

Yesterday, it felt like oil and water with my husband. Nothing blended. Even agreeing wasn't agreeing. It felt like he wanted an argument. It actually has been like this since Thursday. I guess he was due. "Good" has been holding steady for a couple of weeks.

The man I married was never this complicated...but we were bi-coastal before we married. Only seeing our vacation selves. We have been married just over three years and I first noticed these moods when we settled into married life. He was out to sea the first half of our first year. He's retired Navy and working full time. Things have been better, but I sometimes feel it's because I don't rock the boat when I notice the moods coming on.

He just woke up and appears to be better...we will see....

Maybe he's just been in a mood. I hope he's better today. Have you tried talking to him without arguing? Maybe just asking him to listen?

I don't try to argue. That's my point. Seems he looks for an argument. Btw....mood is still there...

Also, asking him to just listen will only make him hold in any feelings only to later come out bigger than they need be.

We can only change ourselves; changing how you feel about his moods can help you tremendously even though it is a very hard thing to do. Understanding his moods are his and probably not the result of anything you have done or have control of can help. Sometimes we take on the whole world feeling responsible for everyone's happiness and really what we do is deprive someone to work it out on their own. I pray he will want to change and have more control over his mood. I hope you can begin to view his moods as his and not let it affect you so and dictate your mood. I know it's extremely hard. Is it possible that he has bipolar illness or some other challenge that has been undiagnosed? I thing until someone is tired of living the same ol' way there won't be a desire for change and no matter how much we would wish they would change or how much we try to change to please that person but get no results the more unhappy we are. I'm sorry that he is moody again today--stay strong and lots of hugs,

Thank you moonbaby. That is what I used to do....take all his moods personally....thinking I did or said something to upset him. Things have been better since I've changed my reaction to his....yes, HIS moods. When I would ask if I did anything to upset him, he could always find something....even if it was days or weeks ago....so I have learned not to ask and he works it out on his own and things get back to normal...

Is he diagnose yet? Take medications? If not, then he needs to see a psychiatrist an get medicated. I feel that you have to walk on egg shells with his moods. This is not a nice way to live your life. It's good that you don't take his moods personally and you've changed your reaction to this. There is help though so that you don't have to do all of this. Communication is so very important in any relationship. It's hard when you feel you can't ask questions. I hope this gets better for you. We are always here for you.

Joy -- He was put on Welbutrin. I know that he is better than he was, but I sometimes feel less accepting than I used to be. I am very sensitive to his moods even when they are slight mood shifts. I'm going through menopause and know that I'm more sensitive and I also find that i have no patience for his antics...more so lately. I find I just get angry and don't even want to be around him. I worry that I am pulling away with each mood and that I can't stop...that each time, I loose a little bit of love. This has happened to me before, so I know what it feels like. My first marriage (12 years) was to an alcoholic, so it is quiet different, but in the last two years of my first marriage, any love that I had for him faded to nothing. I know that I'm capable of falling out of love when I'm not treated the way I want to be treated and that scares me.

Hmm. An antidepressant needs to be taken with a mood stabilizer or it could push us bipolars into mania. Does he take a mood stabilizer? Menopause has got to be very rough on you. I can see why it would make you sensitive and have no patience. Could you see a couples therapist and work on this? With the last marriage, it might be a good idea. I'm so sorry your first husband was an alcoholic. Love does fade though. Anything can happen when you are not treated the way you want to be treated. I wish you luck and happiness. Keep posting, we are here for you.

Anti depressants not taken in conjunction with a mood stabilizer induces hypomania and in some depression when suffering from Bipolar Disorder. I hope he is able to get the proper treatment soon. Good luck! Hugs