these will be random thoughts as there is so much stuff i cant fit it all in.
I have this bipolar girlfriend, with is my first real gf and well my first everything, kiss, sex etc. Im 19 and shes 17. I tell her everyday,somehow, that i love her, mostly over text but to her actions speak louder than words.
She doesnt live with her parents, but instead, her ex boyfriends grandpa. ex doesnt live there, not even in the same state as us. She wont live with her parents and forced them to let her leave because she tried to kill herself by cutting or overdose, luckly she hasnt succeded. And so shes living with gramps.
Up until yesterday, she was homeless for two days, i paid for a night and her mom, whom if she knew would kill me, she thinks i paid both nights... homeless because grandpa got mad, pipes busted, and he had a right to be mad.. then moved back in last night.
im not allowed by my parents to see her and now she doesnt even want to see me, she said she "used me to the max, i used you for everything, sex, money, food, and a place to stay, your like a condom, i throw you away." she called me a stalker and that she hates me... and shes cheated on me and i still love her, i forgave her but in the back of my mind i wonder is that y she doesnt want to see me? so that she can cheat on me? get drunk, high, then mess around...
i cried hard when she stated that she'd cheated on me...
then she stated that she could be pregnant with my child and if she was and i dont step up to the plate and take care odf the child that her ex said he would... im incredabily scared, i dont know what to do, i will be forced to tell my parents and hers, they like me, that i had sex and im no longer a virgin. in which everyone will fly off the wall
im so scared, i know that deep down she loves me, i dont know if she'll ever see it
is she blind to the love i've tried to show her?? it hurts me to see her like this i feel completely helpless and i dont know what to do... i want to be there for her, i truely love her, despite the way she treats me... if i had my way, after i graduated college and had a good job id marry her, but she currently wants nothing to do with me.... whats wrong?
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