Dual Diagnosed Bipolar--Recovery Tools
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Hey Y'all!
I have been a little "under the weather" for more than two weeks with a bad cold and some complications. Thanks to those of you who wrote to offer encouragement and support!
With my addiction, and more so it seems with my bipolar disease, relapse can occur and probably will. I know that doesn't sound very hopeful, but the truth is the truth. I have had relapses with both diseases. The important thing for me to remember is that, after a relapse and during recovery time, I must get busy and use the tools of recovery not only to repair and control damage but also to fortify or strengthen my weakest defenses.
The weaknesses which tend to push me toward relapse are faulty reasoning and judgment; discomfort with and inability to deal with my emotions; negative thinking; critical comparisons between myself and others; fatigue and stress (I use the acronym "HALT"--Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired--to identify the onset of relapse); chaos and confusion; and unhealthy or unsound reactions to people, places, or events. I have other areas of thinking and behavior, such as a compelling need for self-gratification, which weaken my defense; but the ones I have mentioned are the major day-to-day problems that I must practice to overcome.
Some of the tools I try to use in practicing to defend myself against relapse are communication with others in recovery (number ONE in importance); restraint (pausing before I react to people, places, or things); counsel with someone who has experience or authority before I make major decisions; prayer; effort or willingness to help others; praise and gratitude instead of complaints; silence instead of demeaning criticism or damaging advice and opinions; good listening skills; willingness to follow the advice and direction of my advisors and doctors; and an open mind. I also go to recovery meetings, participate in ongoing therapy, have regular visits with my doctors, and I try to practice unselfish attitudes toward my friends and loved ones.
From time to time I do fail in my recovery effort, but I have practiced not to dwell on failure, but rather to learn from it. I understand that "failure isn't forever." Most of all I have come to understand that the tools for recovery are not merely "one-shot deals." Those tools are "GUARANTEED FOR LIFE." If I happen to relapse or have serious setback on the road to recovery, I don't have to be afraid to start again--to re-apply my "tools" as before and to find my way back to the road. I have to remember that relapse, when it happens, is another learning experience, and, as such, relapse may actually contribute to my getting better. With that reasoning, I can remove the stigma of relapse and return to my meetings, my friends, and my recovery without suffering the burden of guilt (guilt is natural after failure). That reasoning tends to take the fear out of "coming back", doesn't it?
I am feeling better, and I am glad to be back; so, y'all keep coming back too!
Thanks.
Your friend,
Jim
