Bipolar Support Group

I am in my 40's now and have four kids who are grown and gone. I have been dx'd with bipolar II, OCD, PTSD, SA, Seasonal Affective Disorder and Fibromyalgia. It's all so hard to handle.

Being an empty-nester is not sitting well with me. I was destined to be a mother and now my kids don't really need me. I know many of you will tell me I need to find a hobby or something to interest me, but the truth is--NOTHING interests me. I can't read due to lack of concentration, I can't do any kind of craft work because of my hand tremors, I am too socially anxious to volunteer anywhere, and too depressed to have the "drive" to do anything.

It's so hard for me to imagine another 30-40 years like this. Life is miserable inside my head, and my head controls everything. After 5 years (since my dx) I still have not found the right combo of meds, all though I've tried them all, trust me. My pdoc has hit the wall with me but says he will not give up on me.

I never imagined middle age this way. This is supposed to be a good time in your life where you've learned enough lessons to be wise and be able to look forward to retirement and a good life. WTF?? Where is MY hope??

Awwwww Sorry you are feeling this way Deb. You will find something that will occupy your time and make life worthwhile. Something will fall in your lap. We always find something that we need when we least expect it. It can only get better right?

Deb, I too am sorry you feel this way. You seem to have a talent with computers. What about doing something with that?

If I listen to my depression it tells me things are hopeless and are never going to be better. It tells me I am worthless and that my family would be better off without me. My depression lies to me.

I am disabled due to my bipolar and what keeps me sane is babysitting my grandchildren part time. Things will get better for you in time. Please don't give up.

Deb, I hear you. I am 53 soon to be 54. My only child left in July to go to college. I cried for weeks and went into a deep depression. I did not handle the empty nest very well at all. Gradually over time I have accepted that he has grown up and I can no longer give him instruction. All I can do is support him and maybe offer advice when he asks. Now I have to hope he makes good decisions, that my raising him will turn out okay. It is hard and I have been at loose ends, but at least I am not crying every day. I hope you will be able to find ways to deal with the empty nest and the change from raising to watching them make their own way. It sure isn't easy.

I've got the fibro, too, deb. I don't know which is harder to deal with, the BP or the fibro. I'm 42 and have 2 families kind of. I have a grown son who's 22 and a teacher now and 2 kids still at home, they're 10 and 8. Sometimes when my illnesses are warring with each other I wonder what I was thinking when I had those younger ones. But they keep me going and keep me busy. I used to do needle point which I can't do any more because of pain in my hands. And I used to love gardening, now it's more of a chore than a love because of the pain. I know where you're coming from. I have found a bunch of friends that I love to go out and see as often as I can. That helps. Maybe you can join some kind of club that interests you. I know you said you had the social problems, but maybe you could push yourself to do one thing. It would probably help in the long run, I know it does with me. And I know for me when my concentration is so bad that I can't read a book, I'll read magazines. And there's always the computer. I hope you find something.

MsJ, as far as computers go--I know a lot about a little but a little about a lot, if you know what I mean. I can fix just about anything but sometimes it'll take me a few days to figure things out. A professional would be able to diagnose problems much faster than me so I'd never be able to do it as a living. I enjoy working on our home computers (and my daughters), but I don't have enough talent to expand much farther than that.

Ele, I too babysit for my beautiful 3 year old granddaughter, but it's only every other week. I love having her here but some days it's SO hard to be a happy grandma when inside there's a war going on in my head.

Uppity, I've been in a deep depression since December when my son moved out. I'm trying really hard to accept that this is the best thing for him, but as his mom and caretaker for 18 years it's tough to let go. It's different with a disabled child. It was much harder to let him go than it was with my other 3 kids.

Rmm, my fibro is mostly controlled with meds, but when I go out shopping to Walmart or Sam's Club my legs always let me know when it's time to go home. It's been worse this winter, but they say that's when fibro flares. Going out with friends is out, since I don't have any. Isolating for 30+ years will do that to you. I've resigned to the fact that I will never have a life outside of my family and I'm ok with that. My social anxiety is too hard to battle so I gave in.

Deb, I hope your depression lifts soon. I can understand that it is harder for you to let go of him. You are still there for him and he knows that.