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MMsBrat Posts: 215
Member
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Here it is, 2:11 a.m. and I'm so bored, so restless. Slept most of the day away, just like the last three. Want to cry, but can't. I feel so listless right now, weightless, so to speak. I want to do things, but want to just lay here. I want to curl up so small I disappear altogether. I'm edgy/flatline emotionally, and extremely cynical. I hate these times, late at night when everyone is asleep, and I'm alone with the night, and my thoughts. Why can't the meds work for me? Either they almost kill me, or they work for about a week or two, then it's right back into the pit. I'm tired. I'm tired of going from rage to depression. I hate what I read on my medical/psych records. Acute clinical depression with suicidal ideation, treatment resistant/untreatable, borderline personality with paranoia, generalizzed anxiety disorder, seasonally affective. Sounds like a death sentence to me. Taking it one day at a time.
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