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02/05/2012 12:24 PM

Ready to pull hair out...

tickingcounter
tickingcounterPosts: 1426
Senior Member

I keep telling myself that lesser people are good mothers... Seriously. 18 year olds with 3 kids... I'm 24 and have ONE and I feel like I can't handle it. I feel so bad for sticking him in his swing in front of a cartoon at only 6 weeks old... but he acted like he didn't want to be held and I just can't think of anything else. Plus now it's quiet!!! He's fussed so much the past few days. He's not COLICKY I don't think. It's not that bad and I keep trying to tell myself it could be 20x worse... but I'll be holding him and he'll go to sleep and I"ll be all excited cuz that means I can get up and go do something or go back to sleep and he'll wake himself back up after 10 minutes and work himself all up into a tizzy. He did this morning when allllll I wanted was to go back to sleep. And on top of that... he's hitting some growth spurt or something and is unstoppable when it comes to hunger. Like just ALWAYS hungry. Sigh I just want to sit down and cry my eyes out. I couldn't make myself get up this morning to feed him so my husband had to do it (thank god i have him) but my husband goes back to work on Tuesday... I won't have him here.
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02/05/2012 12:49 PM
bob333
bob333  
Posts: 3790
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Im sowwie ur feeling this way ticking, but remember parenting is a learning process it doesnt come overnight n obviously it depends on both urs n ur son's moods n needs at the time. I wudnt feel guilty about putting him in his swing infront of a cartoon as long as he still has interaction from other humans then hell b fine n hes obviously enjoys being in the swing n watching cartoons or he wud make a fuss.

02/05/2012 01:30 PM
mem2427

So sorry you are having a hard time. Try not to feel guilty for putting him in his swing. If TV is the worst thing you do to your kiddo I think it is okay. Be easy on yourself. It is really hard when kids are babies and you aren't getting enough sleep. Make sure you are talking to your Doc about your feeling too. It is possible that you could have some postpartum depression going on. Big hugs sent your way.

02/05/2012 01:49 PM
tickingcounter
tickingcounterPosts: 1426
Senior Member

Thanks guys. I"m going to my pdoc / tdoc tomorrow as long as my mom can keep the baby. My step-dad is acting like he's getting sick but we're hoping it's just allergies (he has bad allergies). I know it sounds stupid but I'd love to have a manic episode right around now. I'd have like 20x the energy, I'd laugh, and feel better.

02/05/2012 02:49 PM
uppitywoman
uppitywoman  
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I remember putting my crying baby in the crib, shutting the door, and going outside the house for ten minutes just to stop from losing it. It's hard mothering a newborn, constant lack of sleep, fussiness, endless demands. Give yourself grace. It could be colic perhaps. I know my son would cry and scream for two hours each evening and over the course of three months it finally stopped. Little by little he got better. Little by little I became less tense and was able to begin enjoying him, but early on it was hard and some postpartum depression didn't help. Always tell your pediatrician what's going on with your baby for reassurance. It will get better. Believe that you are a good mother. It's a learning experience to say the least, and I have no doubt that you are going to do a great job.

02/05/2012 03:00 PM
tickingcounter
tickingcounterPosts: 1426
Senior Member

Thank you Upp. I needed to hear that. I just sat with him in the recliner and read to him from my Kindle... it wasn't a children's book but well I don't have any children's books on my Kindle lol. He fell asleep but when I went to lay down he woke right back up and is now fussing. /sigh We've been to the pediatrician, changes his formula, changed his Zantac to Prevacid, she's given us tips on colic soothing techniques... some of which kind of work... we play a white noise recording on a laptop in his bedroom at night because she said the "Shh noise" helps...

I'm just so scared what it's going to be like when my husband's at work all day. :


02/05/2012 04:16 PM
tickingcounter
tickingcounterPosts: 1426
Senior Member

I tried to put him down... he woke up of course started crying. I had to just walk away and since then I can't stop crying. /sigh.

02/05/2012 04:30 PM
YorkieLove
YorkieLove  
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This probably won't be helpful, but it's good to know possible reality sometimes. My youngest son had acid reflux for 18 months. The doc said he would out grow it at 18 months and he did.

He would wake up 5-6 times per night screaming. Sometimes I slept in a chair to hold him upright. I worked full time. I could not trust his father not to lose his temper and hurt him, so it was all me. I thought I would die.

My advice is to do what you have to survive. You can do it. We are stronger than we think we are.


02/05/2012 09:07 PM
jennywren
jennywrenPosts: 3162
Senior Member

Gee crying babies. Boy they can sure be a problem and in some ways take over the home.

Do not worry about your husband going back to work TickingCounter...you will be fine. Think it was UppityWoman, who said this, she put her baby down and went outside for ten minutes. This is the way to go. Do not leave the baby alone for too long though.

I had to do that once, when my son was screaming his head off. Tossed him in his cot, so he would not come to harm and then went for a walk outside. Strangely enough I did not need to stay out long. And came back inside in a much better mood.

Possibly this business of walking away from this sreaming child, made me think, yes, I do have some control over the situation.

Mind you I cannot for the life of me, understand why some babies cry so much. Got me beat. I mean babies with nothing wrong with them. This does not help the mum and baby bonding bit at all. Nor help the mum to be in a fit state to look after the child let alone any older ones. Does not make sence to me.

Something much have gone wrong in the evolution of mankind methinks.

If I pick them up when they are crying I expect them to stop. Well they rarely do.

Animals do not seem to have this problem with their offspring (primates). Mind you the primate mum, spends a great deal of time holding their baby and close to the food suppply. So their baby sucks when it wants to. Mind you the mum may just interfer a bit there. I have seen them gently touching thier baby as well.

Ah just thought I spent quite some time in Hong Kong in the 60's and the chinese ladies carried their babies on their backs then, I did not ever see one of these kids crying.

Sure hope it improves soon. Oh, some will take the baby out in the car for a spin and before long it is asleep.

Jrnnywren

P.S. Do you have places where mums and babies can stay to settle the baby, to give mum a rest and learn how to cope a bit better? This will of course most likely cost.

With luck the crying will ease up a bit at 3 months.

Hum...are his stools okay? He might have some food intollerance ie Celiac (need to be taking gluten containing foods here), Lactose Intollerent?

Post edited by: jennywren, at: 02/05/2012 09:16 PM


02/06/2012 06:47 PM
tickingcounter
tickingcounterPosts: 1426
Senior Member

Hi guys. Thank you so much for your support. I am back from my pdoc/tdoc. He added a very small dose of Risperdal to my Prozac... I was having problems falling asleep no matter how tired (If I want to go to sleep at 10 I need to lay down at 8 to work my thoughts out and it takes me 1 1/2 hour to 2 hours to fall asleep). So I'm going to try to be very very hopeful that things will get better and it will help my still ever present depression/hopelesness/worry about being alone with baby/rip hair out/wanting to run away/Yeeeea you get the idea.

Jenny, he makes 2-3 dirty diapers a day... the stools are soft... but he has gas problems. He's been switched to Similac Sensitive and has been put on Prevacid for reflux. I've noticed the spitting up has become less forceful (rather tahn spewing out... it just kind of comes out now... I know it won't STOP the spit up though. Spitting up is normal). We've been to the pediatrician two times for it and have his 2 month check up on the 23rd of Feb for shots and another check up unless he needs to be sooner.

This morning... I fed him and knew if I could get him back down soon enough I could get another hour or so of sleep. After feeding him he was asleep but when I laid him down he woke back up and started fussing. I knew his diaper was clean, I knew he wasn't hungry (or shouldn't be), and I knew he was fine (as long as he hadn't spit up)... so I went and laid down and listened to him on the baby monitor. After about 10-15 minutes of him fussing he had worked itself out and fell back asleep... Yesterday I did the walk away thing too but my husband was home so he took over.

I'm not sure about anywhere to go but... I have my mom. She lives about 30 minutes away so as long as I have gas in my car I can take him to her, come back home and do whatever I need to do if it comes to that. The way my mom put it "I'm 30 minutes away from a nap". She doesn't work either so anytime I need her I have her. She kept him today all day so that my husband and I could go see pdoc/tdoc (since they are 2 1/2 hours away) and have a nice day to ourselves (I got to eat OUT at a RESTAURANT YAY!!!! LOL)

I know I get hopeless and forget I have all this support (my mom, husband, etc)... and I feel so bad when I do and get reminded because there are so many who have to do it on their own and I have NO EARTHLY idea how they do it at all. Totally have my full respect. But I get so lost when I hit bottom like I did yesterday. I'm just glad I hit it when I did so I could tell my pdoc today and not have to wait for an appointment or whatever.

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