Bipolar Support Group

This is from twitter. I'm great at complaining but not great at being funny about it so here are some samples from the site:

The orange juice was too full to 'shake well before drinking'..

I took a really long shower and now I can't see what I'm doing in the mirror..

When the ticket guy told me to enjoy the movie, I accidentally said "You too"..

It said 'tear here' but it didn't tear there..

Oh, I got one: I posted on mdj, but I only got 3 views...and two of them were my edits

Post edited by: soy70, at: 08/11/2011 07:32 AM

I especially like that one about accidentally saying you too. We have so many things we do out of pure habit, that it is funny.

I laughed out loud on that one and had to explain to the strangers around me. (My sister had to go to another table in the non-smoking section, don't you just hate that?!)

My ipod is low on battery and now I have to listen to the songs with a slight anxiety that it may stop mid-song.

I put my spoon in the empty pudding container and it tipped over

(I'm still plaigerizing by the way.)

Oh, I got one: the spell check tells me i misspelled a word but it didn't give me any options and I have run out of ideas.

Q: Why did the lobster turn red?

A: Because it saw the salad dressing.

Last night I had one of those moments when I reached into the cabinet for one piece of Tupperware and ALL OF IT came down raining down on my head. I blamed it on the breakup with my bf. Or PMS. Or both. We'll see ....

I'm carrying around 5 pounds of "breakup weight" even though my diet hasn't changed. *sigh*

Zadie

Keep reading, you may feel better, I'll be bumping this one all ddaaayyyy

I travel halfway around the world and spend hours online in a cafe everyday

(I guess I do have a lot of them!)

I forgot my modem for universal internet so now I have to use the cafe's and it's sooo slooooowww

(OMG, my entire life is one big first world pain JOKE!!)

There's no emoticon that truly expresses my snarky sarcasm. That smiley face just doesn't cut it.

I just realized this becomes exponentially more funny when you're actually IN a third world country, In fact it's one way to deal with the uncomfortable feeling of having so much around those who don't, so please bear with me as I make fun of myself.

Ok, fact: There are 3 very young tenants upstairs (1 guy, 2 females). The females are okay if not a little passive-aggressive, but the guy is angry, resentful, and throws his weight around (all 130 pounds of it). Funny, cuz he teaches "non-violence" to kids for a living, and when you see him, all you see is rage. So I've broken up with my boyfriend and have been having a bad week, plus it's been raining. So usually I pick up all the poop at night, but sometimes I can't see (plus I ran out of bags). So this male tenant went all the way to Home Depot and bought little flags and stuck them near every piece of poop. A-hole! That was yesterday. Today I found charcoal on the ground by the fire pit -- the 3RD time this has happened. I stuck a flag in it (!!!) and taped a note to the door: Perhaps we shouldn't have a fire pit anymore?!? I wrote: "Poop is gross, but [pretreated] charcoal is toxic. Haven't we talked about this before?" Just 2 weeks ago they nearly killed my dogs with a huge block of chocolate left on the ground. My youngest nibbled at it and was sick for 5 days (NOT fun to clean up). They care for no one but themselves, but ... The landlords are visiting over the next week. So the male tenant constructed some grass compost container of some sort -- I see this as an act of desperation, trying to be pleasing and useful. But my landlords know at least part of the story, and I've been here for 5 years (vs. their 5 months) and I pay lots more rent.

Can YOU imagine someone (driving all the way to Home Depot), buying flags, and "flagging" each poop, some of it a month old??? You've got to be kidding me!!!

PS: My dogs pay rent and are therefore "tenants;" they deserve better!