Bipolar Support Group

I am not sure if I'm in-love. I broke away finally from a guy after nine months of friendship/romance for intellectual reasons. Felt a little ache, but it quickly went away. Now, I'm just curious how he's doing - that he's doing OK. I feel bad ending things, because he is so in-love with me. But I don't feel the same way. It's been a frustrating relationship at best, the load of responsibility was always on me. I had to carry the burden and do all the work in this relationship! He was riding my coat-tails and taking over every aspect of my life: work, church, home, etc. I couldn't be myself, and hated the person I conformed to be in his presence.

All my bipolar moods, all that I've gone through with side-effects, and all my grieving over a past love have possibly confused my heart and how it communicates naturally about deep feelings. I don't know if I'm in-love, but he's so much of a kid inside, that I have more of a parental care than a partner care for him. I'm tired of always trying to keep the friendship, and fending off his marriage pursuits. How do you know when you've found "The One"? I do believe I've tried everything, and have probably lead him on big time by trying to do things right. Just feel bad about this situation, because he's so young inside.

I know I need to stick to a decision! Now is the time to make or break this habit of indecision and vacilation. For his sake, I need to be strong in whatever decision I make. Just want to definitely make the right one for both of us.

- SpiritArtist

you know they are the one when they dont need you to fix them ,when you dont spend more time doin it all ,and last but not least when you are so in love you cant breath without them...this man is not for you spirit we talked about this fix spirit that is worth the time be blessed..

Hey dragonfly! You are cool. I needed this rational to figure this stuff out. As smart as I may seem, the life stuff complexes my understandings of things. I get miffed. I feel better, even though he is a cutie, and has a great body! Hope I end up with another version of this guy, with more mental ability!

I hate to be the voice of negativity and pessimism, but I think that you DON'T know...

You can be with someone for years & think they're your soulmate, only to discover that it's all wrong. You find out that they're NOT the one.

AND ... YOU SAID:

It's been a frustrating relationship at best, the load of responsibility was always on me. I had to carry the burden and do all the work in this relationship! He was riding my coat-tails and taking over every aspect of my life: work, church, home, etc. I couldn't be myself, and hated the person I conformed to be in his presence.

Does'nt that tell you he's not the one??? Because thats what it says to me...

kim is right on the money here spirit we never really know we think we know someone then they change or they hurt us its all confusing and hurtful at times..

I say you don't know, and the one just "is."

Shit...I still don't know if my husband's the"one."

But i'm a cold bitch, so maybe I could never know.

Post edited by: maMONa, at: 11/30/2008 02:03

i'm with maMona i thought my hub was the one 15 years ago. we spent the next 3 yrs. in such an amazing state of bliss i guess you would say then the next 3 started down, nothing major just growing our separate ways, next 5 yrs. not good, but could have been worst, last4 totally alone. he acts like he doesn't give a sH*t about anything. was talking the other night on forum and tried to tell him some of what was being said, and he told me there wasn't any use telling him, there wasn't anything he could do to help me w/my bp anyway. wouldn't bother me if he packed his bags, but i need his income. terrible isn't it to need somebody for the money they make. but i can make it w/out it if it really comes down to it.

same here cats. I also try to mention to hubby about my participation here at MDJ or friends I meet here, but i sense he thinks it's foolish so i stop myself as i speak to him some times. He IS loving...and cares for me deeply...it's just that he doesn't understand me no matter how hard he tries.

How do you know you have found the "one" I don't believe you can ever know, with Glenn I thought I had found the one when he hugged me for the first time, I felt like I was home.

As the others have said, the bloom fades quickly. You have to feel like you are allowed to be yourself, you should not feel like you have to be the one in charge, the true marriage I believe is a relationship between friends. With friends, you are yourself, you are not trying to be something you are not.

Marriage/Relationships, take a lot of work, there has to be give and take on both sides, you have to agree to disagree, it sounds like your friend, is maybe a little immature for a serious relationship at the moment, and it sounds like you are not ready for one either, concentrate on growing yourself, before you can be ready to make that commitment, figure out who Spirit is, and then you can figure out the "who"