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zinnia
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hi, all-looks like we're talking about trying to make others-loved ones-understand what we go through. my boyfriend tries so hard to understand and he always helps me when things are not good. he goes to this site and does research and everything. only problem is no matter how it's explained, he can never know how it feels inside my head. wish someone could and then invent the perfect med to make it stop. missed you all today. no chance to check in. feeling a bit better today. we'll see how it goes. what are you all up to? Well behaved women rarely make history.
Thou canst not disturb a flower without the troubling of a star...from "Troubling a Star", by Madelaine L'Engle...we all affect one another by our words and actions...it is our choice whether to do so purposefully and positively, or carelessly and hurtfully...may we all bring to one another the peace that we seek...
"if you want others to be happy, practice compassion. if you want to be happy, practice compassion" the Dahli Laama
Peace-
Zinnia |
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MsJ
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It is hard for someone who doesn't have this to understand what we go through. Some choose to NOT understand, prefer to think it's all in our head. Chemically it is, but they don't understand the mechanics of it. My husband used to accuse me of just wanting to stay on the drugs. How stupid was that? I guess he thought I was getting high or something. I don't know what has to be said before it finally dawns of them, whether it's just a matter of living with it long enough to recognize the different mood changes or whatever. I just know that it's frustrating to us.   Y'all come warm your tootsies by the fire! Meds: Abilify 7.5mg,Topamax 200mg,Lamotrigine 250mg,Cymbalta 120mg,Klonopin 1mg,Lortab 15mg day, Lyrica 225mg day,Arthritis meds including nsaids |
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Bleyedangl
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Hi Zinnia glad you are feeling better today. MsJ it's totally like he thinks it's all this made up thing to get attention. I wish he had to deal with being me for a week and see how much it sucks! -Nikki
"Guru in training" LOL
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zinnia
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i totally know what you're talking about, ms.j-it's so hard for me to explain how a mixed state feels-about how it makes me feel insecure. or crying and running around with unproductive energy. and why i get paranoid. you can't explain those things. the people in my life try hard, but they don't understand how i FEEL. they know what i act like when it's time to go to the pdoc or how i look when i'm doing well. but they don't understand how it makes me feel. Well behaved women rarely make history.
Thou canst not disturb a flower without the troubling of a star...from "Troubling a Star", by Madelaine L'Engle...we all affect one another by our words and actions...it is our choice whether to do so purposefully and positively, or carelessly and hurtfully...may we all bring to one another the peace that we seek...
"if you want others to be happy, practice compassion. if you want to be happy, practice compassion" the Dahli Laama
Peace-
Zinnia |
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MsJ
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And they can't understand Zinnia, bc they can't be in our heads. But other bipolar people relate bc their feelings are so similar. They may not be exactly how you feel, but close enough that they can say "I know what you mean" Bleye, bipolar or any mental illness is scary to alot of people so it's easier to think that you are trying to do it for more attention. Maybe he is just scared that you really do have an illness, scared that you aren't the person that he thought you were. He wouldn't trade you in if you were sick with diabetes though would he? Post edited by: MsJ, at: 11/20/2008 14:18 Y'all come warm your tootsies by the fire! Meds: Abilify 7.5mg,Topamax 200mg,Lamotrigine 250mg,Cymbalta 120mg,Klonopin 1mg,Lortab 15mg day, Lyrica 225mg day,Arthritis meds including nsaids |
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Bleyedangl
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No...but I do know he is afraid of who I am. I was pretty sick and docile for a lot of years. Since being on meds I've went back to more myself and he got so used to be there thing to "save" me that now he doesnt know what to do. I just wish my best friend was closer and more easily accesible. -Nikki
"Guru in training" LOL
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MsJ
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But you are asking him to be there for you now, so why is he saying no? Is he trying to punish you for standing up for yourself and not being the meek little girl who wouldn't say boo to him before?Y'all come warm your tootsies by the fire! Meds: Abilify 7.5mg,Topamax 200mg,Lamotrigine 250mg,Cymbalta 120mg,Klonopin 1mg,Lortab 15mg day, Lyrica 225mg day,Arthritis meds including nsaids |
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Bleyedangl
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I dont know what his deal his. Everytime I confront him he goes into a total defensive mode saying he is supporting me. His idea of support is working so i can stay home and have insurance for my doctor and meds. He just doesnt get it at all. No matter how much I tell him what I need he doesnt give it. And it sucks. It sucks more having that in someone else but not being able to turn to that person. -Nikki
"Guru in training" LOL
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MsJ
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I know how you feel. It's hard to be dependent on a person and to feel like you are your own person too. You want emotional support too and they think that since you have that physical support you don't need anything else. I've been dealing with that since I quit work a few years ago, I was always very independent and loved having my own money and insurance, my insurance was better than his.Y'all come warm your tootsies by the fire! Meds: Abilify 7.5mg,Topamax 200mg,Lamotrigine 250mg,Cymbalta 120mg,Klonopin 1mg,Lortab 15mg day, Lyrica 225mg day,Arthritis meds including nsaids |
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Bleyedangl
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Yeah and now i've talked about getting a job so i can have my money and he's totally against it because of our kids and the limbo of where we will live because of his job. It's like he's afraid of me getting too independent. -Nikki
"Guru in training" LOL
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"When I first came to MDJ, I was in a very dark place, and feeling quite alone, I don't know how I found this site, but I have been very grateful ever since, all of you have offered insight to the illness of Bipolar and the other things going on with me, being here has allowed me to find friends, and to feel safe in discussing things that I would never have shared before.
