To all my friends....

I feel like I have been attacked at a personal level by exposing myself in posts and having that thrown back at me by someone that is supposedly trusted?

My need for being here and in the other rooms that I was involved in has now been questioned by someone who has the power among other things, to lock threads.

That is very, very sad. Sad that I was questioned and sad there isn't some sort of test to get in here and become a group leader. Not a hard test....but some sort of "I am not an empirical queen" test.

The implication is that I simply have joined the groups I joined to cause trouble. I had no idea that in the short time I have been here that I had managed to get a reputaion. One that would bring into doubt my "credentials" for joining the support groups that I did.

It has been a tough choice to stay or go. I made the mistake earlier of posting that I struggled with making friends. I felt like I had made some in here. It was a HUGE deal for me. I am not the easiest person to "get."

I like to laugh and have fun. I have several years of sobriety in AA. I have lots and LOTS of issues. Where I came from is far different then where I have fought to get. I came from nothing, changed my life and became a success. That alone gives me a level of experience that is hard to find.

The main reason I came here was to find out everything I could about my girlfriends BP illness. It was once I got here that I wanted to belong and share. I think I did for a minute. lol.

There are things that I have read in some rooms that just made me sick. I will NEVER, EVER support something that I condemn. That is not me.

There are other things I learned that were just wonderful and so full of hope. I think I gave some good advice here and there. And That I made some people laugh occasionally. This was a lot of fun and many of you are some of the most awesome people I have met.

To all of those who will someday be group leaders, don't let it go to your head, talk out of both sides or abuse the priviledge of leadership. It doesn't make sense to request the cross and then complain about the about weight you have to bear.

To those that do both walk and talk (and in Norma's case chew gum too lol), thank you for all that I have learned from you. And I wish you all the best.

AND FINALLY, to all group leaders that talk the talk, but cannot walk the walk....you are a catastrophic success.

Differences of opinion occur in any large group. Reaching a consensus about what is acceptable and what is not can only happen if each person's contribution is valued. My opinion is that each person's contribution is valid. Even the ones with which I do not agree. Honest feed back is essential to the health of the group as a whole. Your posts are honest and they come from your heart. Their purpose is to edify and correct. Which in my estimation is one of the ways to make the forum a place of healing. The top of this page says it is a community of people dedicated to dealing with bipolar together. Building community means that we all belong, whether, we agree or not. Acceptance of each person good or bad is essential to that concept. And the judgment whether the person is good or bad, or sick, or aggrivating, or had a bad hair day, or abuses their kids, or talks too much or not enough, homocidal, manic, depressed...the list goes on and on...the judgment lies with each person who belongs. Accepting someone and agreeing with them are not the same thing. My take on it, and this is my opinion, if you see something that is wrong, and you don't speak up, you are saying it is ok. Sometimes you have to break the shell to fry an egg.

Listen to what Gloria and Norma are saying. It is only with diverse thoughts, ideas and beliefs that we become the best community possible to assist each other. I, too, have had my butt chewed on a few occasions. One thing I can guarantee you is that there will always be an occasion where we will disagree with someone.

Please don't go, my friend.

One of the things I tell everyone here is "DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY". We all have good days and we all have bad days and while dealing with bipolar we can take these things to whole new levels.

Criticism can be constructive or destructive. It is how we deal with it, it is up to each of us as individuals to accept or reject information presented here.

I too am a group leader and there are things I will not tolerate as a person and darn'd if I will tollerate them to appease anyone else! Being a group leader is like walking a tight line,teedering between giving and needing help. I personally take responsibility for the groups I am a leader in. Sometimes the decisions are not the easiest to make, but for the health of the group sometimes we have to do these things. The group leaders position seems recieve fire from all angles, if we do we are bad, if we don't we are bad. If anyone has a problem with things that take place in these groups they are more than welcome to PM me and discuss issues.

Very few have left the groups except by their own choices. These groups are stronger because of what each of us brings to the table. We all have something to add that makes this group stronger. The one thing I do take personally (and I probably shouldn't) is when someone leaves, that is when I feel I have failed or let someone down.

Lets work toward a positive end to all things here.

P.S. Take care Warhorse

GOD BLESS

RED

I've been gone & have missed ya!

Hugs,

Amber

And I seriously can't create a resume that will prove I need to be in a room I join. It is ridiculous that someone would even think that, much less say it outloud. That has really effected me.

Everyone that has posted here is right. And Norma - I wish I was fluent in Texan - about the frying eggs....lol

Since I got home I keep checking to see if I've been taken off yet....THEN I have PM's so I feel like I have to answer them. I don't want to lose contact with everyone so the PMing is endless. THEN people I "unfriended" try to hug me to find out why. THEN I feel awful. Sorry about that - I couldn't figure out how to unregister so I was trying to just delete everything -- which by the way doesn't work. LOL!!

SO....Since I was responding to the PMs I figured peeking in here wouldn't hurt. I see my post and that Amber is back from disney world (YAY!), gloria has a contract on my life (better hope warhorse doesn't find me first) and that so many people have even thought about it....then I have to read them all. (You guys did make me cry and make me talk to the computer....lol)

THEN, I see miserable's diary post and that she is all upset....SO THEN I had to rejoin to post to her before I left. THEN sense I had to rejoin to post to her. I might as well come here and tell you all how wonderful you are....geeze louise..... THEN I see that kim is back from the great beyond....

This place is like a giant love sucker....LOL I walk by the computer and it just pulls me in.

I do wish Roy had an "undo" button...I would really like to take it back now.