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Bipolar Boyfriend


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05/15/2008 19:01
dragonfly2catch
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 i totaly agree with clever you just gotta do it..
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05/15/2008 19:08
Forresta
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 You know what....I know that I need to leave and I am not making excuses. I cannot leave on one paycheck. I also have a 15 year old dog who has been my child & I will not abandon him. Moving anywhere takes first and last months rent, at least a months' worth of bill money saved and I have not been making enough for that. I don't know where you live but the job market here is unbelievable, and it can take forever to get any kind of a job. There is no question in my mind that I need to and desperately want too leave. My only goal in life is to leave. I have never in my life put up with any abuse from any man, and I have always had a place to go or a way out if I was unhappy in a situation....until now. I have bad credit, a shitty resume, no family/friends, will have no car....etc..., and a dog. I am doing the only thing I know to do....try to make more money and eventually save some, and tough it out until that happens. I appreciate the kind word and I know you are only trying to help.
Forresta
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05/15/2008 19:14
Forresta
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 I think you may have also overlooked the fact that I was "thrown out" three different times. Each time I ended up living in a horrible place where there were no jobs to be found, almost lost my car because of it, and was just as miserable. I have to leave in a rational, planned way where I can actually survive, and live somewhere where there are jobs to be had.
Forresta
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05/15/2008 19:14
clevergirl
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 Feisty! Good for you! Make a plan, then. Open a savings account and stick $10 in here and there. Have it payroll deducted (you can do that with direct deposit) Make connections with people you know and feel comfortable with for possible employment/car/apartment options in the near or not-so-near future. Set a date. Start looking at apartments and crappy cars. The more action you take - even if it is just researching apartments, the possibility of moving to other cities, maybe a waitress job on the side...whatever it is will help you take back power and feel better because you are doing more than just being angry and frustrated that you are in this situation. You can do it. You know you can.
failure is a prerequisite to success
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05/15/2008 19:16
dragonfly2catch
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 just be brave in everything you do if he will get help then no need to leave at all and you can stick by him i stuck by my big pain in the butt and he changed but i had to make boundries and help him by not enabling him to abuse me or stay sick so my deepest prayers are with you i know how it feels to mourn the man you love and he is right next to you we only wish you well honest ..be safe kiddo and hang in there :~dragonfly
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05/15/2008 19:21
Forresta
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 Now you are talkin'. I really appreciate your support. Oddly enough, this man is awesome to me when he's not being "bipolar"; that's the only reason I have been able to survive this long. But....I certainly don't want to stay with him. I have had it. I am just trying to be smart and to do things the "right" way so that I am not left totally screwed because I dated abipolar man. He makes about $280,000 a year and I pay all of my own bills & get nothing from him. I just want to leave and maybe one day have a normal life again.
Forresta
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05/15/2008 19:31
dragonfly2catch
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 you will i know it hurts but you will you sound fiesty you will prosper and come out on top.. good luck

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05/15/2008 19:33
norma
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 Dear Forresta, sounds like you have a plan. And you are willing to stay until you can leave...we are here for you to vent...
"In the time of your life, live-so that in that wondrous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but, shall smile to the infinite variety and mystery of it." William Saroyan
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05/15/2008 19:54
Forresta
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 Thanks...you beautiful strong, smart women. I appreciate the kind words.

So....how are things going for you?

Forresta
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05/15/2008 20:04
clevergirl
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 I'm in the middle of med change - on a manic but I'm spending it landscaping my backyard by myself. I have trouble with my teenage daughter...have no friends but a huge extended family that all live about 5 miles from us. I have rapid cycling BPII, anxiety and depression. I'm neurotic...some say OCD, but really I'm just calmer when my surroundings are orderly and beautiful. I just had my third hospital stay last week - 6 days to get me out of a low swing and adjust my meds. Psych hospitals make you feel fortunate that you only have BPD...ha ha. I got fired two weeks ago...and though I am very smart, articulate and moderately educated I can't keep my mouth shut or attend work regularly enough to keep a job longer than 6 mo to 1 1/2 yrs...this last job was 2 yrs. I'm worried about looking for a new job, but I have some time. My thoughts race constantly. I'm always thinking, rationalizing, planning. I'm supposed to start grad school in August but probably won't. I'm going to get my LPC - to be a marriage and family counselor. I want to teach people how to be better parents. I'm hoping once I get my meds working things will be less chaotic. It's hard for my family and I feel guilty. I'm going to take a sleeping pill now...glad you're here. You can always peek at our profiles by clicking on our name...Hang in there! Nothing is forever...
failure is a prerequisite to success
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