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Bipolar Boyfriend


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05/15/2008 18:24
Forresta
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 I have been living with a bipolar man for three years. Although he has thrown me out three different times due to mood swings. I had a very stable work history, friends, a normal life until I moved in with him. Now that I am living with this guy I have had to quit many jobs without giving notice, live on peoples couches all across the US, take any job I could get to keep my car, and yes, go back to him just to survive. I have no friends due to the craziness of my living situation, and I have never had any family to depend on. I really was a stable, happy person before moving in with an unstable man. I live in constant fear of being thrown out again. I walk on eggshells to keep him from getting angry, and I work my ass off, and cannot ever make enough money to leave. I have never been so lonely in my life. Noone at work even knows that I have a "boyfriend" because I am ashamed of my situation and we have no relationship except that I still live with him. Any suggestions?
Forresta
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05/15/2008 18:25
clevergirl
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 kids?
failure is a prerequisite to success
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05/15/2008 18:27
Forresta
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 No kids, thank God. That would really be bad. Although he has two that live with his ex. She is fighting to get complete custody because he is so angry around them.
Forresta
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05/15/2008 18:32
clevergirl
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 My very humble opinion, based on the information you provided, is that you need to leave him. You said you don't really have family to rely on - but look at it this way: You'll need first and last month's rent to get an apartment. Start saving, hang with a friend or family member while you save...but this relationship appears to be going nowhere. Love yourself first. The relationship sounds at very least verbally abusive...be resourceful. Make it happen and stop making excuses for his behavior. Love yourself first.
failure is a prerequisite to success
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05/15/2008 18:34
fighter
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 my husband sounds some what like your boyfreind.Does he drink?
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05/15/2008 18:36
dragonfly2catch
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 first off let me start by saying i am so sorry you are feeling the way you are nobody deserves that way of life.Hun you gotta step up for yourself you can do it start saving some money somehow even a bit at a time it is time for you to love yourself if you had a daughter would you want her to feel the way you do?no of course not so please take a stand some stand even a shelter would be better than that life..please think about you not him be blessed :~dragonfly
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05/15/2008 18:50
norma
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 Dragonfly and and Clevergirl are giving you some good advice. Listen to them. You are the only one who can change your life. I say get your stuff together, and run not walk out of the door and don't look back. Take your next paycheck and find a cheap place to live. If you can't afford that go to a woman's shelter, the Salvation Army, or some other group that might help. If it were me I would live in a box somewhere before allowing someone to treat me like that. Your life is your own to live. Allowing yourself to be abused and walking around on eggshells is no life at all....we care
"In the time of your life, live-so that in that wondrous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but, shall smile to the infinite variety and mystery of it." William Saroyan
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05/15/2008 18:52
Forresta
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 The advice you give sounds great and I wish it was possible for me to follow it. Only...I don't have a single friend or family member to stay with. My car is in his name, but I pay $600.00 a month for the car pymt & insurance, and there is no way I am quitting my job. I moved out to a brand new city to be with this man because I had no idea he was bipolar. 8 months is how long I have been at my job. That is the longest I have ever been able to keep a job around him. I am slowly trying to build my income back up but it is taking forever. On top of everything else I have a very public job in the marketing industry where I have to be "on top of things" every day and in the spotlight. I have to dress great, be in a great mood and appear to be doing well to keep my job. Before I met him I made $45,000. Now I have worked my way up to about $2,500.00 a month....finally. Before now I was working $7.00 an hour jobs due to the constant job hopping.
Forresta
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05/15/2008 18:54
Forresta
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 Yes. He drinks beer all the time. And he dips. He knows he has a problem but acts like there is no way he could give it up. He doesn't ever act drunk though. It's like he just drinks and functions and thinks that is ok.
Forresta
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05/15/2008 18:58
clevergirl
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 you have to decide which is more important - changing your life long-term so that you can be the successful woman you know you can be - or - staying with your boyfriend and risk a pregnancy while continuing to be abused. Leaving a man while in a situation such as yours is not at all easy. Nothing in life of this magnitude is...but Norma is right - there are places you can go to get back on your feet. Say it takes one year...isn't that a small period of time in the grand scheme of life? You make enough to pocket away a good bit. Make-do with your wardrobe (I had a job like that and it is possible). Take one last paycheck and just walk away. You can do it. You have to want to go through the struggle ahead first. It's easy in the short term to stay...easier in the long run to leave. You're making excuses, not thinking of solutions.
failure is a prerequisite to success
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