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Bipolar Community Bipolar Support Forums Introductions & Personal Stories when do i tell?
when do i tell?
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04/29/2008 11:03
zinnia
Posts: 2622
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 I started dating this guy a few weeks ago. He's really a great person and we've been having a wonderful time together. He seems to like all of my quirks and doesn't seem to freak out when i say i haven't slept all night and i'm still walking around functioningthings are moving along and we are seeing more and more of one another. he calls or texts me several times a day. he's a good, down to earth, kind person and we have a lot in common.

my question is: when do i tell him about me? i am really hating this feeling. i feel like i have the plague or something or that i have something that i've done "wrong" that i have to confess. i don't feel ready to share this right now, but i also don't want to be unfair to this person. what's fair?

someone please tell me what to do. go ahead and boss me around. i need it right now.

Well behaved women rarely make history.

Thou canst not disturb a flower without the troubling of a star...from "Troubling a Star", by Madelaine L'Engle...we all affect one another by our words and actions...it is our choice whether to do so purposefully and positively, or carelessly and hurtfully...may we all bring to one another the peace that we seek...

"if you want others to be happy, practice compassion. if you want to be happy, practice compassion" the Dahli Laama
Peace-
Zinnia
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04/29/2008 11:44
storm
Posts: 55
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 If you are on meds, and in therapy - If you are confident in your ability to manage your illness, then set him down and tell him - wouldn't you like to know

my 2 cents
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04/29/2008 11:47
norma
Posts: 7200
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 Just tell him you have bipolar disease and it is a condition likened to diabetes. You take meds and sometimes have to have your space. And let him discover what a beautiful wonderful person you are...if you like him enough to date him, honey, like him enough to tell him the truth. It is nothing to be ashamed of...ok.
"In the time of your life, live-so that in that wondrous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but, shall smile to the infinite variety and mystery of it." William Saroyan
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04/29/2008 11:54
zinnia
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 I would like to know. that's why i asked. i'm just so shy about telling him. it's not even that i'm afraid he'll not want to be with me. i am on meds and my life is great right now and like i said, the quirks i do have, he seems to like. i'm just not sure of the words to use. it pisses me off that people hear bipolar and they think of schizophrenia and multiple personality disorder and everything but what it actually is.

thanks for the advice and keep it coming if anyone has more. this is really bugging me.

Well behaved women rarely make history.

Thou canst not disturb a flower without the troubling of a star...from "Troubling a Star", by Madelaine L'Engle...we all affect one another by our words and actions...it is our choice whether to do so purposefully and positively, or carelessly and hurtfully...may we all bring to one another the peace that we seek...

"if you want others to be happy, practice compassion. if you want to be happy, practice compassion" the Dahli Laama
Peace-
Zinnia
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04/29/2008 12:08
norma
Posts: 7200
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 Now, I want to know where did you get the tattoo...when are you going to tell him about that???
"In the time of your life, live-so that in that wondrous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but, shall smile to the infinite variety and mystery of it." William Saroyan
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04/29/2008 12:09
Dreux
Silver Ribbon
Posts: 370
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 I have to agree with norma and storm, if he is worth dating, then he is worth the opportunity to understand you. If he can't or won't, then it would never have worked in the long run.

Hugs Dreux

Life is a journey, not a destination.

Laissez les bons temps rouler.

Each day is a new canvas to paint upon. Make sure your picture is full of life and happiness, and at the end of the day you don't look at it and wish you had painted something different.
Author Unknown



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04/29/2008 12:12
norma
Posts: 7200
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 Z, use your wonderful sense of humor...and if he is an intelligent person he will take it in stride. Bet he likes you a lot. He must be a good guy, and he is so lucky to have found you.
"In the time of your life, live-so that in that wondrous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but, shall smile to the infinite variety and mystery of it." William Saroyan
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04/29/2008 12:16
zinnia
Posts: 2622
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 YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST! just reading this has made me feel so much better. i was asking my sister about it and she was telling me i shouldn't tell him right now because it's just too soon, etc., but i figure what's the point of getting to like someone so much and then finding out there's something about you they won't accept? i knew i needed to ask people who live with it to know what to do.

norma-i already told him i got the tattoo on my ass. i'm not embarassed about much any more. i have a bumpersticker from the tattoo place on my car so he asked and i told him

Well behaved women rarely make history.

Thou canst not disturb a flower without the troubling of a star...from "Troubling a Star", by Madelaine L'Engle...we all affect one another by our words and actions...it is our choice whether to do so purposefully and positively, or carelessly and hurtfully...may we all bring to one another the peace that we seek...

"if you want others to be happy, practice compassion. if you want to be happy, practice compassion" the Dahli Laama
Peace-
Zinnia
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04/29/2008 12:20
norma
Posts: 7200
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 I KNEW IT!!! I FIGURED THAT IS WHERE IT WAS..LMAO !!!! Z, read Dreux's last discussion post...print it and keep it with you...I am putting up a copy at work...
"In the time of your life, live-so that in that wondrous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but, shall smile to the infinite variety and mystery of it." William Saroyan
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