My sister is bipolar & destroying my family!

This situation with my sister has consumed our family for years. Up/down, always huge drama, stealing, lying, treating my mother terribly and always threatening suicide. My parents have bought her a new house, a car, pay all her bills, etc. and yet she takes herself off her meds, has huge ups & downs to the point that neither myself nor my two other sisters will allow our children to be around her or her children because it's so chaotic.

I'm just so angry. My sister will come out of this hospital and come directly to my parents home because the doctors have said that she cannot take care of herself or her children. My parents do not have many choices and nobody knows what to do. There are not choices for the kids because our family will not accept foster care for them and yet one of these children is completely out of control and he cannot be around other children.

Any suggestions on programs. Any advice. We just do not know what to do because the stress is completely ruining our family. And it seems like the only person with control is my bipolar sister because if she were to stay on her meds and be stable then these things would not be happening!

Gloria

One major thing that some of us do is stop the meds when we are feeling good. I will never say that it is right and I think with time she will have to decide for herself that this isn't the way to go. Took me a few times before I decided that I would have to take the medication for as long as I live.

As for the children. I didn't wait for the state to step in. It is hard to deal with when you know that the parent isn't capable of taking care of them. I found myself in that situation and stepped in and filed for guardianship of my grandson. I was granted the guardianship with full custody in Sept. He is six, and it sounds as if he was in the same shape as her six year old. I have him in counseling and under the care of a psychiatrist. Here we are three schools later and I think that he is doing good. I had to go to battle for this child but that is something that Grandmas do. The children need love, understanding, and guidance. It really saddens me to know that you and your sisters won't be around that child. Maybe with some contact and acceptance that little boy will heal.

Your sister has to reach the point of wanting and seeking the help that she needs. Your family can't fix her or change her. What your family can do is hold her accountable for her actions. If she is staying with mom, one condition should be that she continue with her medication and therapy. At times we have to use tough love, and I won't say that it is easy. As a family, some boundaries have to be set.

I may have an advantage with dealing with my bipolar daughter because I am bipolar myself. I know what it takes to maintain my illness and it has helped me with dealing with her.

You aren't alone. There are many that are in the same situation that you are in. I think that counseling would assist with the kids. My grandson has an awesome therapist that uses play therapy. He actually has an office full of toys and they play as they talk. I think that this helps in the child opening up because they have this adult that will get down on the floor and play while talking. He has worked wonders with my little guy.

Don't give up on you sister or her children. Support her but don't enable her. She has to do this for herself and she does need a support system in place.......

My grandparents have always done the same thing for my mother who has never been diagnosed with anything. She is abusive, reckless, selfish and mean. Yet, when she gets into a hole - they run right there and bail her out. They have NOTHING thanks to her. She has drained their accounts and mooched mercilessly. Yet, they continue to do it. They say they are too old to change now. I believe them. They know what my mother is about. She was arrested about 10 years ago for multiple felonies and they couldn't AFFORD to bail her out which was nice. She sat in jail for a while on that one. In the meantime - same thing the state got involved because of my sister who was 15 at the time. I took temporary custody of her. She was older and when my mother got out she went back to live with her (no rules) I let all of that go. I have nothing to do with her.

I suggest that for you to with your sister. But in this case you can probably have her rights taken away or get guardianship over HER and custody of those kids. I wish there was something else to tell you. Good luck.