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04/22/2008 10:13 AM

New Member Intro - Undertoe

undertoe
undertoe  
Posts: 531
Member

This is my first time joining an online support group and I wanted to briefly introduce myself...

I was diagnosed as Bipolar about a year ago and continued with therapy and meds until fall of last year, at which point I simply stopped dealing with it. I am an alcoholic and have enjoyed success in sobriety. Because of this, I figured that if I just maintained a strong AA recovery program and stayed sober, everything would be OK and I wouldn't have to address the fact that I'm Bipolar.

Well, things are not OK. I'm having a VERY HARD time just getting through the days and things reached a boiling point last night. So I've dusted off my Bipolar Handbook, which I've never opened, and am trying to connect with people like me. So that brings me here.

undertoe

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04/22/2008 10:37 AM
southern10
southern10  
Posts: 2160
VIP Member

Welcome undertoe..Glad that you are here..Sorry you are going through a rough patch right now..Are you currently on any meds as of right now?You will find alot of supportive people here..You are not alone..hugs southern10

04/22/2008 10:41 AM
morningglory/oldglory
glory  
Posts: 3668
VIP Member

Welcome,undertoe. Jump right in wherever and whenever you like. I hope you find some answers and comfort here. OUCH, for dropping your psych meds. You must go back to your shrink and start over. Not a hard thing to do if you are commited to getting back on track. Congratulations on the sobriety. Because, of that I know you are a strong person. You can do this and you will be so muh happier.

Gloria

Post edited by: morningglory/oldglory, at: 04/22/2008 12:42


04/22/2008 12:30 PM
undertoe
undertoe  
Posts: 531
Member

Thanks for the welcome!

Walking away from treatment was just a bad move. I felt fine up until about three weeks ago. Now I'm at the point where everything seems like an impossible situation, things aren't getting done and I'm horribly stressed out. No energy, no motivation. I CAN'T MAKE MYSELF pick up the things that I know I MUST TEND TO.

I felt as though I had to go out and drink last night just to STAND MY EXISTENCE. But driving around, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. As much as I wanted to make these painfully mysterious things they call emotions or feelings go away, I just couldn't make myself go to the liquor store and numb it.

I don't have any meds right now. It will take me about a month or so to get back to into therapy and get some meds. (Damn, I hated those things.) In the meantime I'll stick to caffeine and tobacco, hold the booze, please! But seriously, I've joined this group, I'm looking through my Bipolar Handbook and will join an in-person support group this Thursday.

God help me, I'm going to need it!

undertoe


04/22/2008 12:33 PM
rkc1964
rkc1964Posts: 252
Member

Welcome undertoe - I hope you get thru this rough time, hugs to you. Go back to the pdoc and make sure you take your meds, it may take a little bit but soon you will know the difference.

Becky


04/22/2008 02:57 PM
norma
normaPosts: 10109
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

Hey, undertoe....glad you joined...I think I posted a welcome in another thread for you...there are people here at all hours of the night..if you want company...

good move not to drink...I find it just makes my bipolar moods worse...


04/22/2008 03:14 PM
morningglory/oldglory
glory  
Posts: 3668
VIP Member

toe, talk about ugly!!!! when i used to drink i would be the meanest drunk in the bar....whew did my share of ................ glad those days for me are OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love

Gloria


04/22/2008 03:57 PM
p8ntballgrl
p8ntballgrl  
Posts: 524
Member

welcome, if you are strong enough to drive around and not go in a bar I have faith in you that you can outlast the month you have to wait to get meds. just remember we are here as well as your in person group.

hugs


04/22/2008 04:42 PM
crig
crig  
Posts: 25
Member

Undertoe,

God is already with you and he is guiding you back to therapy. You should be extremely proud of yourself. If you read my profile, you see that my husband is in denial and putting a tremundous strain our our relationship. If there is ever anything, don't hesitate to ask. This is a great bunch and just reading some of their posts is what gets me through each episode.

Take care!


04/22/2008 05:41 PM
gcol
Posts: 8
Member

Hi undertoe Welcome I have been reading this board for about 2 months I don't post much I am more like a voyeur.I most say I have learned more about BP here in 2 months then any where else.I came here because I was in a very bad way to.every thing in my life fell apart I had no motivation and I almost lost everything (agine).So I will try to tell you what is working for me first I do have to blow my own horn today I have 14 years clean No alcohol or Cocaine for 14 years 4/22/94 (iam the men) just kidding.14 years ago I was livening in my car no job no money no friends and my dog ran away.(smart Dog) after I got sober my whole world changed.I was 32 and I had to stare with nothing but I did it I was able to get a job met a great girl with a master degree and after 2 years of dating we did get Married and I have beautiful daughter from here and she is my life.I am Divorced but I am very much in my daughters life.I now live in the Poconos inPA I stared buy land in 2001 and I soon had 19 building lots and I have built 6 houses and more money I could ever dream of so I went from livening in my car to having all. Being a true BP I soon lost it all.Last year when the real estate market crashed I did to.I lost some of my land and almost foreclosed I my house.We I came to this board 2 mouths ago I was 4 months beside on my moreage and jobless and broke agene with BP and a learning disability.I did know what to do I was all alone agine.So I cried allot and gave my guns to my best friend and dug way down and started to think as bad as I was it was nothing compared to how bad it was when I was drinking and if I could get my self out of that I could do anything.So as hard as it was to started over (agine) I did it I got a good sales job and I am no longer in foreclose and I am motivated today and I will have everything I want AGINE.Undertoe you have done something not many people could do you stop drink and with that you can do anything and fake it tell you make it wake up tomorrow and started over I know you are white knocking it with out meds. but just do it men that's what we do the imposable.And in a couple of months I want you to tell me your story I will pray for you men good luck keep reading Gary

Post edited by: gcol, at: 04/22/2008 19:52

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