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BellasMomma Posts: 87
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Hey there! I've been a member of MDJ for a while under the Fibromyalgia support group, but am now thinking I may need some help/understanding/support here as well. My story is short and is not unusual ~ my mom is Bipolar, and as far as I know, has been her whole life. She was born in the late 40's when people didn't talk about mental health issues, and they were swept under the rug. She is not rapid cycling, by any stretch.....she actually is manic nearly all the time (and yet somehow seems to keep it nearly under control thru diet, exercise, and sleep), and then crashes every 5-10years. She denies having anything wrong, refuses help, etc......to the point that I've nearly washed my hands of it. At her age, if she still won't admit there's something wrong, then there's only so much I can do. I'm so tired and emotionally drained, and can't focus all my energy somewhere where it's not welcome. Please, don't think I'm cold & heartless ~ just that 30 years later, how much can you still do?????? Well, today I got the call from my new step-father. He said, "she's having a nervous breakdown, you need to come now". I got to their house and quickly realized that she had crashed again. Completely incoherent, couldn't formulate a complete sentence, didn't know who I was, couldn't even stand up. Got her to the hospital, and she's now on a 72hr hold again. Here's where the problem comes in.......she'll check herself out in 72hrs, feel fine, do her follow-up appt or two, feel fine, stop taking meds......and the cycle will begin again. I feel like I just can't help her any more. Please, can someone help me understand???? I've had my share of issues with depression, and I have FMS ~ I know that you have to learn to accept that you need help, and may need help for the rest of your life........ But at what point do you stop trying to help someone who doesn't want help?? |
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Curlupandie  Posts: 280
Member
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Hi bellasmomma, How strong and how much love you must have for you mother. Its not easy time and time again to pick up someone you love. You are very couragous. When I was diagnosed it was very very hard for me to accept that I was BP. For others I guess the reality of this is just to much. Along the way you need support too, is anyone there for you? All I can say is hang in there, your mother appreciates all that you do and all the love you share. The journey is not an easy one but the ppl here are really helpful and knowledgeable, use this and perhaps your load may feel a little lighter. curlupandie |
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YorkieLove Posts: 7026
VIP Member
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Could you and other family members stage an intervention? It might help you to not carry the entire burden of dealing with her yourself. It is very hard to watch someone you love suffer. Sometimes it feels harder on you than on them, so take care of yourself first. Lisa
My advice is purely personal. I am not a Doctor and there is NO substitute for getting proper medical diagnosis and advice.
Bipolar II, Depressed Severe
Lamictal 400 mg
Seroquel 150 mg
Effexor 150 mg
Inderal 10 mg
Ambien 5 mg
Lithium 1200 mg |
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Dit Posts: 12047
Group Leader
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BellasMomma, i'm so sorry to hear you've had to go thru all of this with your Mom. The sad part is bipolar can be managed with meds and therapy for the most part. I've lived with bipolar for 26 yrs and was only hospitalized once was 18 yrs old in 1982; fortunately i never experienced the same psycosis again, guess i'm one of the lucky ones and i've stayed on meds and never went off them. Also had awesome support systems thru these yrs to keep me sane. When i was first sick, i had family members & friends a few yrs later wondering why was i still on meds...they obviously did not understand. At that time, my diagnosis was changed from being scitzophrenic to depression/anxiety. It's only been since 2007 that i was diagnosed properly as being bipolar. Anyway, i wish you all the best and as Yorkie stated, maybe there can be some family members stage intervenion; hopefully the hospital can help with that. Until she wants to admit to having this illness and needing meds, you must look after yourself in the meantime. Post edited by: Dit, at: 08/27/2009 07:49 AM Be Still and Know That I Am - Scripture
12-Step Slogans - One Day/Moment at a Time/Just for Today/Let Go & Let God/But By the Grace of God
Live and Let Live/Easy Does It/This Too Shall Pass
"Don't be afraid to cry. It will free your mind of sorrowful thoughts." - Hopi tribe
Bipolar I
Lithium 300 mgs, Lamotrigine 200 mgs, Klonopon (Clonazepam) .05mg more if needed, Clomipramine (Anafranil) 25 mgs, Abilify 5 mgs, Seroquel 25 mgs
Please note that I am not a psychiatrist or psychologist. My opinions are personal only. This site is not intended to be a substitution for professional care, nor is anyone here qualified to make diagnoses. |
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Jazzmary Posts: 1066
Senior Member
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its your mother and you want to save her, but if she is not trying to fix herself then you cant do a thing. the only person you can save is you It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.
-Buddha
Seroquel XR 100mg
Seroquel 400mg
Buspar 60mg |
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Dit Posts: 12047
Group Leader
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Jazz i agree with you and also, you need to be well yourself in order to be there for her; also maybe live by the saying "let go and let God" (its like surrendering to your higher power). I use to use that a lot when my Mom was ill with alcoholism and depression and we were all trying to help her and she never sought help herself. It was very frusterating for us in the family. Be Still and Know That I Am - Scripture
12-Step Slogans - One Day/Moment at a Time/Just for Today/Let Go & Let God/But By the Grace of God
Live and Let Live/Easy Does It/This Too Shall Pass
"Don't be afraid to cry. It will free your mind of sorrowful thoughts." - Hopi tribe
Bipolar I
Lithium 300 mgs, Lamotrigine 200 mgs, Klonopon (Clonazepam) .05mg more if needed, Clomipramine (Anafranil) 25 mgs, Abilify 5 mgs, Seroquel 25 mgs
Please note that I am not a psychiatrist or psychologist. My opinions are personal only. This site is not intended to be a substitution for professional care, nor is anyone here qualified to make diagnoses. |
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taurus  Posts: 2893
Senior Member
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I believe my Mom's bipolar also and I've been trying to get her to get help for years. I've had to let that idea go until she's willing to get help. I just try to be there for her and leave it up to her. It is hard to watch them suffer. However, you can't make her get help all you can do is take care of yourself and be there for her when she needs you. |
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BigJ
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I'm bipolar and I think my dad is also. He's never been tested for it and I've never really asked him about it either. I figure if he's in his fifties and has managed to lead a fairly stable life in his adult years that hopefully I'll be able to do the same. I'm not on any medications. I know at some points that meds could help but for the most part I shun pharmeucuticals and do not wish to partake in them or risking further injury to my help due to potential side effects. I've been trying to figure out more about bp and how to self manage it but it can be hard some times when you can't understand your own on emotions and feelings. Sometimes I just disconnect from the world. |
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