Home
Home | MarketPlace | Register

Group Menu
Why wear a ribbon?
"i wear this ribbon because im bipolar" (lostinlove603)
Wear the green ribbon
Menu
It's Free
We comply with the HONcode standard for trustworthy health information:
verify here.
Bipolar Support Group Welcome to the
Bipolar Support Group
A community of patients, family members and friends dedicated to dealing with bipolar disorder, together.
    Join This Group    
    Ask a Question    
      Tell a Friend      
 
Bipolar Community Bipolar Support Forums Introductions & Personal Stories In love with a confusing bipolar man
 

In love with a confusing bipolar man


Related Discussions:

<< Start < Prev 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Next > End >>
04/05/2008 19:05
sandrasha
Posts: 77
Member

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 I am so confused. I have been seeing this man for almost three years. He took me on wonderful trips, took me out of a depression, and we were soul mates from our first meeting. However, every three to six months he dumps me. It is usually after a period when he is badly in love with me. He will then call and say I never loved you, you made me say it. I know in my heart this is not true, and if I ignore him for a week or two he will come back saying how much he missed me and how much he loves me. Is this normal, for someone with a bipolar disorder. He can be so wonderfully warm and then he can be so cold I can not believe it is the same person. Can someone help me to understand. How do I know which side to believe, the loving warm self or the ugly cold one. Please help.
Post Reply   Quote


04/05/2008 20:09
dragonfly2catch
Green Ribbon
Posts: 265
Member

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 well sandrasha you have to believe both.. if he in fact has bi polar has he been diagnosed from a dr. and is he on meds if the answer is no to either than i would have to say he is just a rude person but bi polar or not why do you think you deserve this type of treatment from him ?you deserve to be loved everyday not just every couple weeks but it sounds like you are just goin with the flow here and you keep letting him do this..you both should be in counseling if you wanna work it out..be blessed :~dragonfly
Post Reply   Quote


04/05/2008 20:17
sandrasha
Posts: 77
Member

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 Dragonfly, he has been diagnosed and is on meds. When he is in his love stage it is the warmest and calmest of days. Then he suddenly gets scared and I think trys to shock me away with his meanness. I don't think he will go for counseling. I am finding it harder and harder to go with the flow and I am ready to tell him you have what you want, me not loving him. It is very toxic, but in truth I do love what I think is him

Post Reply   Quote


04/05/2008 20:30
Sstephens
Green Ribbon
Posts: 45
Member

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 Hey sandrasha. Welcome to the group. My husband is bipolar and it was hard for me to accept at first. I remember thinking things like "this isn't him," but the truth is...BOTH are him! He is him when he is in his highs and his lows. If your boyfriend isn't willing to seek counseling you may not be able to work it out. If you do stay with him you may need to seek therapy for yourself in order to better cope with his disorder. Find out as much as you can about bipolar. Whether or not you should stay with him is up to you personally and how he treats you. Loving a bipolar is NOT easy, and it never will be. That does not mean it is impossible. I know I'm just stating your confusion, but the best advice I can give you is to learn as much as you can about bipolar. This group is a great place to ask any questions you have.
Post Reply   Quote


04/05/2008 20:32
dragonfly2catch
Green Ribbon
Posts: 265
Member

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 i to love a bipolar man mine just started meds yesterday so long road for me yet and he never leaves in body but emotionally he does, so i guess its not too different but i go to counseling for me and let me tell ya it helps i realized how codependant i was and how i enabled him to be sick what a mess let me tell ya i have been through hell and back with this man from him cheating once to him chokin me once and i put him in jail but him and i have come a long way i also am 6 months pregnant with his baby so you wanna talk confused im right with ya on this one however i have learned about the illness and i am fighting my last fight here if meds dont help and the counseling dont help i am gone..this was our last hope and i am learning to love me again because i loved me before this man came in my life and i think i loved life alot more too but if i walk away i wanna know that i know i did it all..be blessed :~dragonfly
Post Reply   Quote


04/05/2008 20:53
sandrasha
Posts: 77
Member

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 I am reading quickly through the threads about triggers etc. How do I find out what triggers him? I do see it being seasonal, every March or April, September and sometimes November. I also see it being tied to his emotions, seems when he is very close he backs off with a passion. Does this happen to anyone else? How do I learn what affects him. It seems to be such a pattern. Dragonfly, I hope the meds work and the therapy. I would be concerned with his violence. My bf has never been violent. Can I ask one more question in general? When he retreats from Love it seems he wants to be pure, repent as he sees passion as perhaps dirty. Is this guilt or self hate? I don't really understand the swings obviously. Please help me understand
Post Reply   Quote


04/05/2008 21:01
sandrasha
Posts: 77
Member

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 sstephens, thanks for the response.. Your husbands highs and lows, do they involve being madly in love with you to rejecting you? Also I posted something below about triggers etc. Can you give me so insights into how you know or if you know what is going to set him off. When he is in his high stages does he love to be the fun man who loves to flirt. When he rejects me he will most obviously want me to pursue him so he can say I am chasing him. In fact though he will write me luring emails to get me back, then deny it. Can you help me understand any of these things.

Post Reply   Quote


04/05/2008 21:03
dragonfly2catch
Green Ribbon
Posts: 265
Member

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 that seems like an inner battle with his beliefs and that can be boosted by his episodes his self worth bein depressed which would be a low for him. holidays,any change and yep warm weather triggers bryan.mine backs off as well like he dont want to be sensative to us but that normally means he is becoming manic..you have to learn what the manic exactly is for your honey i sometimes thought bryan was depressed and in fact he was not at all he was manic so i had to journal his moods for him. show him the pattern write down episodes and things he says to you i would also see about his meds are they really working for him does he take them faithful and meds are only the chemical treatment he needs the non chemical as well (counseling)without that he wont change and if he wont go with you please go for yourself .
Post Reply   Quote


04/05/2008 21:08
sandrasha
Posts: 77
Member

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 and when he is good is his loving like no one else you have ever been with?
Post Reply   Quote


04/05/2008 21:10
dragonfly2catch
Green Ribbon
Posts: 265
Member

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 as long as you let him do this to you he will continue one thing i did learn is i had to set the boundries because bipolars have a tuff time with boundries sometimes i kicked my hunny out for a week and set deep boundries and let me tell ya he snapped out of the horrible stuff real quick now that tells me he is aware of how he was treating me and he changed the things he had control over and it was alot.so you have to also say what is the illness and what is abuse because he is abusing you emotionally and you deserve so much better be blessed :~dragonfly
Post Reply   Quote


<< Start < Prev 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Next > End >>

Start a New Discussion

Disclaimer: The information provided in MDJunction is not a replacement for medical diagnosis, treatment, or professional medical advice. Read More.
Contact Us | Bookmark Us | Add a Doctor | For Doctors | FAQ | Awareness Ribbons
About Us | Terms & Conditions | Privacy | Get Involved | Advertise
Copyright (c) 2008 MDJunction.com All Rights Reserved