Introduction...

BG

Thanks for the warm welcome. He is not currently adhering to his medication regimen... same old excuses (he feels better without the meds... he's not "really" bipolar... he can manage it with herbs and the like). Let me stress, the man is bipolar, and although the official diagnosis is only 7 months old my heart told me 4 years ago. He's 7 months out of a two week hospital stay after which, in my opinion, he was the best he's ever been and certainly everything I could have hoped for. He still believes he didn't need to be hospitalized although he was a step above manic when he went in, almost RUINED my 30th birthday party, and was hardly able to string a noun and a verb together he was so scattered. He was taking some pretty hardcore anti-psychotics after hospitalization, and they had their side effects. After 6 months he abruptly stopped taking those. It started going downhill from there, but I saw some small changes a couple months before he stopped the meds. He is now completely withdrawn, living home with his folks, sleeping all day, lost his job, lost all his friends, has substance abuse issues,... I could go on. I'm waiting for the man I first met to come back, but I'm afraid he may only be seen again in that weird zone right before full-blown mania, and I really don't want to see him having to live through another bout of mania (but I know I will many more times). It's like being in love with someone who doesn't really exist. It's very hard to cope with and I find myself questioning my own sanity quite often these days. I blame myself for enabling him from time to time when I knew better and for allowing his issues to color my life. But I now have this support group and another that I go to in person as well as supportive family and friends. It's a struggle, indeed, but not one I plan to abandon... ever.

BG

Welcome and more welcome!!! I feel as if I am reading my own story. Like you, I am on the verge of loosing the only man that I ever loved because he does not want to take a step with addressing his illness.We are married after a three year relationship. His problem is also compounded with alcoholism.

Just a couple days ago, I felt as if I was going crazy because as you know we are the ones who do everything wrong,who are to blame, who caused all the problems and who have them the way they are now.

However, my interaction with this group is helping me keep my reality in check.

I still remember all the good times we had, the loving and considerate person he could be. He is bright and talented but cannot get a career started at age 36, because he never finishes what he sets out to do. I want those times back. But being with this group is helping me to understand that its not my problem to fix, and unless we mentally and emotionally seperate these issues, we will go down with them.

This weekend for me is hard to get through because he been drinking since yesterday and we know what happens next.....

I am keeping strong for my adorable nine year old and also my mum.

So stay strong and keep talking it out. This really helps.

In my own personal life I have had a relationship like the one you describe and finally had to decide that it was me who was the problem. Not that the person wasn't treating me badly but, that I was sick for staying in the relationship. We all have to make the decision what is best for ourselves.

Glad you found us..