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crazy wants to understand


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03/30/2008 14:28
lostandscared
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 Well I am bi polar and I see that everyone is asking why or how are they going to deal w/us but do you all ever think that we need to know how to live with ourselves for most of t he time i cant control or dont even know what im doing but when i do wake up from my cloud of mania the guilt is enough to want to die I dont want to be this way I dont want to hurt anyone I just want to be loved and I have tried all I can meds theapy nothing has worked and now im coming down and I just want to die if it wasnt for my kids I would have already done it so to take the edge off I cut but it only helps while im doing it then I have even more guilt i need help I need to go into residental treatment but when I get it in my head to go I go manic I have told everyone to make me but they say i am grown and need to prove i want it no one understands I cant I need help I cant make my brain shut down
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03/30/2008 14:41
norma
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 Welcome, lostandscared, first of all YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Sounds like you are going through a bad time right now?? Is there anyone who can stay with you?? You say that you need to go to a residential treatment is there one available?? If you are cutting yourself you needs some help NOW...

Please write back ok, i will be waiting for reply....

"In the time of your life, live-so that in that wondrous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but, shall smile to the infinite variety and mystery of it." William Saroyan



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03/30/2008 14:42
tbogart2003
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 Hang in there, Lostandscared. You sound like you need some intervention, fast. There must be some friend or family member who can recognize you need help asap, and who will get you committed to a mental facility. If there is noone, then you have to be as strong as possible, and commit yourself. There are many facilities and you will need to do some research to find the best one for you in terms of treatment and cost. Ultimately, you are your own best friend..although now you seem to be your worst enemy. I truly understand. Been there. I am there for you.

Terry




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03/30/2008 14:53
southern10
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 Please hold and hang on..You are not alone.. Get help now..Let us know..

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    having a hard time
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03/30/2008 22:39
Gypsy
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 Hey there, Lost and scared.

If you can't get into treatment, than go to the ER. When, I was in that state, I got into therapy, and went and got on meds. If you really want help you will go get it. Don't take this illness for granted. Get help now.

God Bless,Gypsy
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04/02/2008 19:13
lostandscared
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 Well its a new day and nothing is better i spend so much time alone today i didnt get off the couch for at least 7 hours straight never fell asleep im loosing myself but it is kinda comforting b/c i know that real soon im going to black out and im sure do something crazy but i wont remember and i wont have to deal w/being alone b/c well my x husband e mailed me he wants me to come home he is the only person who understands my bi polar and he is always ther to pick me up he really loves me i just can tseem to be happy w him and i always run after a while and leave him for someone else that ends up not being good for me or even if theuy love me they can never deal with me i just wish i could be happy with my husband
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04/02/2008 19:14
lostandscared
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 i cant admitt myself to a hospital i want treatment but i cant find any that accept insurance

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04/02/2008 19:34
norma
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 If you live in the United States the hospitals have mostly accepted Hill-Burton funding...that means they cannot refuse treatment....if you have any insurance at all that might work...just go to the emergency room....TELL THEM YOU HAVE SEVERE BIPOLAR DISEASE AND ARE HAVING A MANIC EPISODE...GET SOMEONE TO GO WITH YOU UNTIL YOU ARE GIVEN TREATMENT. It may take hours to get some help...but, you need some help!!! Call the doctor that originally prescribed your meds....tell doctor you are not well and need immediate help...talk to nurse if doctor is not available.
"In the time of your life, live-so that in that wondrous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but, shall smile to the infinite variety and mystery of it." William Saroyan



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    Hello everyone.
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04/02/2008 22:18
lostandscared
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 I know there is help but im alone I dont ahve my kids w me so im no danger to anyone I just have to think about my self I dont have any support my x husband said if I come back to florida hell help me he has always been there for me im just so unsure I think maybe I can make it through this alone
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04/03/2008 02:52
carmen33
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 Lost, you have to get help and get it now, don't use the won't accept insurance card, take yourself to the nearest hospital, they can not refuse to see you, and most public hospitals accept any insurance card, why is your husband a ex to begin with? did he do the leaving or did you? there has to be a reason he is a ex, and if he "is" always there for you, why is he not now? you can't make this alone, none of us can, take yourself to the hospital and do it now, you said your kids weren't with you, so you don't have the excuse of having to have someone to watch them..
"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."
http://www.psycheducation.org/depression/ 02_diagnosis.html#soft
http://www.mdjunction.com/hidradenitis-suppurativa
http://www.mdjunction.com/diabetes-type-1
http://www.mdjunction.com/diabetes-type-2
http://www.mdjunction.com/bipolar-type-ii
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