scared when i'm in this state.

You said: "when i feel like this all i want to do is go into hospital for a rest." Anytime you reach the point that you feel you should be in the hospital odds are you should have already been there!

If anything not getting the help you need is going to be of deterement to the children. Neglecting your health will directly effect them, whether in word or deed. Get the help so you can be the best mum you can be!

Hubby doesn't understand, have you taken time to try and help him understand? Take him to a therapists and or doctors appointment with you, it helps. While you are sepperated, it does sound like you are still close. Help him to get a better understanding and learn about bipolar, it makes a huge difference. He can also seek therapy for himself, it helps us to learn about how things work and learn copeing methods.

The meds are not a cure, as there is no cure. But with proper medical tereatment bipolar can be controllable.

Do what is best for you, your children, hubby, and all you know and love... get the help you need and deserve.

We are here for you, you are not alone!

GOD Bless

RED

Post edited by: red1965, at: 03/29/2008 08:15

episode".. why the bloodyhell don't i learn that just coz i'm feeling better it's best to leave it. when i know all to well it will come back. thx once again for your reply(((hugs)))

My wife has had many times when she has felt better and stopped taking her meds, and seeing her pdoc. Just to endup swinging again when the meds finally flushed from her system. This includes a recent event when she did so (around Christmas), I am thankful that this time she recognised a change in her psyche and returned to her pdoc and meds before things escelated.

GOD BLESS

RED

This diagnosis, didn't explain the rage, frustration and losing my mind feelings I was having, it didn't explain why I felt like I could go from feeling well, to feeling like I wanted to curl up under my desk and cry till I died, to feeling like the next person who opened their mouth around me was going to have their juggler ripped out by my bare hands.. it didn't explain the wound up, pent up energy that made me feel like I was fixing to explode.

Doing research on the depression and trying to find something that would cover all this range of moods lead me to bipolar, and especially the bipolar two diagnosis, after being released from the hospital back in July from a suicide attempt, the doctors still didn't want to reconsider my diagnosis, and it lead me to more and more research, as I knew something was not right, the doctors had all my facts on what was going on, but since they never saw me when I was going through all these moods, they didn't recognize it. I had to take information I printed off line and basically shove it in the doctors face and tell them look, this is me.. this is what has been going on with me, you need to reconsider.. and thankfully they were willing too, it got me off the 4 antidepressants I had been on all at the same time, and on to one mood stabilizer, Lamictal, I finally had a proper diagnosis, the right medication to pull me out of the depression hole I had lived in most of my life, my temper, irritability and frustrations are all under more control, I haven't felt that pent up, fixing to explode energy since July..

Be totally honest with your doctor about what is going on with you, if you have found information that explains what you are going through, experiencing, take it with you, take a mood chart.. it will all aid in your diagnosis, in my tag line you will find a link to the site that lead me to mine.

Welcome to the group, we are glad to have you here.