Bipolar Support Group

Hi everyone. Very very long story!!

This is my first day here and I need some help. @yrs ago my husband became sick. He hid it from everyone and finally told me after I found out he had been talking to someone on Myspace. He told me he had been very depressed. We went to the dr. and every med he was put on made him worse. This started in 2 07. Last Aug the dr. put him on Zoloft and within 3 weeks I lost my husband. The dr. said he had been miss dx and was BP. He doesn't believe the dr and to thi day still doesn't.He wouldn't call me or the kids, (he works in a different state and comes home on weekends) didn't come home and my gut kept telling me there was bad stuff going on. Ends up he was having an affair spent 25,000 and did everything a 18yr old would do. He didn't care that the electricity was being shut off because everything was bouncing. He was opening secret acct. bought this girl and himself secret cell phones like 1 day after he met her. Bought me a ring that I always wanted right before he met her at a hotel. I mean really crazy stuff. He says he wants a divorce and that he hasn't loved me in yrs. We've been 2gether for 17yrs. I believe that is not true because I felt his love until Sept. 07 when all this started. He told me on Jan. 13 he never wanted me to touch him ever again and to stay away from him. Last weekend I saw a glimpse of the man I married and for someone who didn't want me to ever touch me he did. We even laughed and had some fun. But he still said he wants a divorce. He's not with anyone. His excuse is that when I was sick I hurt him to much (I was verbally abusive to him)and that he has to much resentment towards me. This is all knew to me. He has never said anything to me before. He also said that if we lived together he would want to go out and not have to call me. My concern was what if i went out and I didn't call, what would happen to the kids if no one showed up? He said that's why we shouldn't live together.

My question is, does this sound like BP or am I the crazy one. He hated me in Jan. Now we sometime laugh and have fun. He tells me it's all my imagination and me and the Dr. are wrong. He makes me feel like he is fine and we were wrong.

Please help me figure out what is happening.

Thank you all!!!

Welcome back. We can't diagnose anyone as bipolar. But if he was diagnosed before, and isn't getting help he will just get worse.

No matter what you do to try to get him help, it wont work until he wants help.

This is a family illness, and both people can benefit from getting counseling. Take care of you. You don't have to stay in in an unhappy situation. If you allow him to keep treating you badly, you are only enabling him to continue his behavior.

I would learn as much as you can about this illness. There is alot of info on line on bipolar, and how to cope with a bipolar spouse.

Feel free to hang out here, and share, ask question, or vent. We are here for you.

As the others have said, he has to take responsibility for himself and his healthcare. Until he does that there is nothing you can do to help.

You can set limits on what is and is not acceptable behavior around you and the children. Stick to them.

Job #1 is taking care of yourself and your children. For you I would suggest getting some counciling. This will help you through this event and learn how to deal with him and the stresses that surround him.

We are here for you. You are not alone.

God Bless

RED