OMG, I'm the queen of having problems talking to people - esp. doctors....I'm a compulsive liar. Plus, I hate the way Drs look at me when I tell them I'm having paranoid or delusional thoughts, so as much as I can I try to hide those thoughts from them...it doesn't help that it's the whole resident-attending thing either...cause I know they talk about me when I leave, which makes it that much harder to say what's really going through my head. The lies come easier than the truth... Right now, I'm in the middle of a medication fiasco ...and so I'm finding that even if I feel one way I tell them I feel another....mostly because I want to see whether they see what's really in my head...in a way it's a test....but in a way it's just me being really, really stupid. My last tdoc I saw for YEARS....I luv her...incidentally she was also an MD. so I killed two birds with one stone. I lied to her for about a year about my whole family...about every day stuff...whatever...we worked through alot of phony dilemmas. anyway, i liked her cause she figured it out. Luv that! Maybe other people do, but they just don't say anything. Who knows. Anyway, I also got diagnosed 1st year of college...and can remember the living hell that was the rest of college. Not fun. It'll be 10 years this year. Ack! Anyway, what trust issues are keeping you from opening up with the docs? BP I
What one man can do, another can do - The Edge.
Lithium 900 mg
Seroquel (tapering off)
Ativan 1-2 mg
Propranolol 80 mg for performance anxiety
Ritalin 10-20 mg as needed |
