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06/01/2009 03:06 PM

Hello All, new to group

IsJesusTestingMe
IsJesusTestingMePosts: 48
Member

I am in my 39th year,on this wonderfull planet...I met my wife in 1997....she was diagnosed with manic depressive & bi-polar around 8 or 9 years ago.... I have moved out like ten different times..sometimes for a week or two..and a couple of times for a year...ALways keeping in contact with my wife..never two far...

I find having an apartment is the key....but finacially it makes little sense..because I am the one who ends up living at two places..money, cleaning...I am sure you know the drill....

I have never seeked out a support group, but have often thought about it..I am a Christian..and frankly if I was not, I would have left my wife sorry ass along time ago..( pardon my french..doesn't mean I am not caring, or loving, or not going out of my little mind...lot's of laughs)

There is so much wrong...but here is the highlights..I feel I am like the dad and she is the child... But she refuses to let me make any decisions..and what I miss the most is an adult conversations...she is always the victum.....and her mood swings are off the chart lately...getting worse by the month..if that's possible...

Only someone living with a bi-polar partner, or family member can understand what I am saying....but what do i know..

Is Jesus Testing Me?

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06/01/2009 03:45 PM
taurus
taurusPosts: 2893
Senior Member

Does she take meds, see a Pdoc and a Tdoc? Can you give me a little more info about her so I can help you?

06/01/2009 03:46 PM
YorkieLove
YorkieLove  
Posts: 7033
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

Only good things come from God, so no Jesus is not testing you. Smile

I won't go into the theological reasons for why we have illness and hardship, but it basically goes back to Adam & Eve.

Is your wife medicated? If so, are they working? She might need a med adjustment.

I'm sorry that you are having a rough time. My husband says that he has thought of me being sick for so long, that it has impacted our marriage. Maybe you feel a little like that too?


06/01/2009 03:50 PM
taurus
taurusPosts: 2893
Senior Member

PS I'm Bipolar with two Bipolar sons. We all take our meds on a schedule, try to eat healthy, go to Pdocs. I'm the only one who goes to a Tdoc. We are all stable. It's taken years, many Pdocs and alot of hard work to get to where we are today.

06/01/2009 03:55 PM
IsJesusTestingMe
IsJesusTestingMePosts: 48
Member

She takes like 33 pills a day..three times a day.....has been shifting pills around for 8 years

06/01/2009 04:04 PM
taurus
taurusPosts: 2893
Senior Member

Does she see a therapist (Tdoc)? Or go to group therapy. How about suggesting she gets on MDJ and she can make some friends. I'm sorry if I'm not providing you very much help but I'm trying. what do you need help with I guess is the question I should be asking you.

06/01/2009 04:04 PM
IsJesusTestingMe
IsJesusTestingMePosts: 48
Member

Well my wife illness has so effected our marriage, but so does alot of things..

As for is Jesus testing me?.....Well I say definetly Yes..here's why... I have to really learn to step up to the plate..with my wife's condition...when she is totally and oblviously unreasonable..i have to be...

When she reacts emotionaly, i don't....it wasn't always like this...but as the months move forward..i believe I am a seriously stronger person..who can learn to deal with almost anything,,( looking towards the Lord of course)

Because if I can deal with her on a daily basis, and keep my sanity, I should be able to deal with most anything, while keeping my perspective along the way...See my point?

This is the test....to make me a better human....Just pray that I don't snap.....lot's of laughs..but seriously Pray!


06/01/2009 04:09 PM
IsJesusTestingMe
IsJesusTestingMePosts: 48
Member

Ya, I can try to get her to look around this site..I can say it was suggested anyway.....

She does see a therapist....he is extremely busy,,and I am not sure what is going to happen to our little city when he finally overloads and shut's down...

I am not sure what Pdocs and mdoc's and such means?

as for what I am looking for,,I am looking for Other's that Get It!


06/01/2009 04:18 PM
taurus
taurusPosts: 2893
Senior Member

There is a support group for spouses of bipolar people here on MDJ. There are also alot of people in your same situation on here.

I can give you my perspective of the illness. It's hard which you've already observed. She can't help her mood swings and it sounds like she's really trying to get stable or she wouldn't be taking all those meds and working with her pdoc with the changes for 8 years.

She's suffering. I don't know her personally but we do suffer and get heartbroken over our condition. Especially when the meds don't work all the time. Our bodies change over the years and that's why the meds get adjusted.

I feel for you because both my sons are bipolar and I know how hard it is to try to help them. Sometimes you just feel helpless and alot is up to them. You can only do so much.

Maybe you should start taking care of yourself, do things for yourself. Read about Bipolar. The more you know the easier it will be.


06/01/2009 04:22 PM
IsJesusTestingMe
IsJesusTestingMePosts: 48
Member

I thought this way the support group for partners, but I was slowly figuring it out i was in the wrong area..lol's..thanks for the words
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