|
|
dixie22
Posts: 30
Member
Send a PM
Give a Hug
|
Hi, I've just joined the Bipolar Support Group. My 37 yr old daughter was diagonosed with bipolar about 4 years ago. I am online tonight looking for some emotional support. We live in NE Alabama and just found out that she drove to South Carolina to meet someone she met in a chat room. We have had the two younger children this weekend. When I asked if she was taking her meds, she said that she wasn't. She doesn't think that is the problem. Thanks for listening. dixie22 |
|
Post Reply Quote |
|
|
zinnia
 Posts: 800
Senior Member
Send a PM
Give a Hug
|
Hi, dixie-I'm sorry you're going through this. BP's go off our meds for lots of reasons. Side effects. Or manic and feeling like you can take on the world and don't want the meds to stop that feeling. Or feeling ok and don't think you need meds anymore. Lots of reasons. Do you know someone where she is? Do you think she's dangerous to herself or in danger? If so, I would call the police. It's so hard. I'm glad the kids are safe with you. People here are so great. They'll give you comfort and support and answer any questions they can. There's very little here that someone hasn't been through. You're in my thoughts. Well behaved women rarely make history.
Thou canst not disturb a flower without the troubling of a star...from "Troubling a Star", by Madelaine L'Engle...we all affect one another by our words and actions...it is our choice whether to do so purposefully and positively, or carelessly and hurtfully...may we all bring to one another the peace that we seek...
"if you want others to be happy, practice compassion. if you want to be happy, practice compassion" the Dahli Laama
Peace-
Zinnia
|
|
Post Reply Quote |
|
|
red1965
Posts: 1729
Group Leader
Send a PM
Give a Hug
|
Dixie, welcome to the group. There are people with bipolar here as well as those of us with a loved one that has bipolar. This is a group of good compassionate people. Emotional support, questions and answers, venting and friend making is what we do here. I am sorry that you are going through all of this with your daughter. Feel free to ask questions, leave answers, vent and make friends. We are here for you, you are not alone. RED
|
|
Post Reply Quote |
|
|
PerfectlyImperfect
Posts: 454
Member
Send a PM
Give a Hug
|
Welcome to the boards Dixie. I'm pretty confident that you will find the comfort and support you need here. I know I have. I hope you enjoy it here  |
|
Post Reply Quote |
|
|
dixie22
Posts: 30
Member
Send a PM
Give a Hug
|
Thanks zennia and red. Zinnia, my daughter did come home early tonight and picked up the kids. She is definitely in an episode but doesn't seem at all suicidal. She was very controlled, however, with her behaviors, acting very sure of her decisions about meeting this chat room guy. We couldn't talk much because of the kids being present. The kids' dad plans to go to his dad's tomorrow, so they are breaking up. This is pretty much a pattern when she has a big episode. She leaves whatever man she is with and goes straight to another one. I know that is a pattern for many people with bipolar, but it just scares her dad and me to death to think of what could happen--desease, rape, death! She insist that there is no danger. Can you give us any suggestions as what we "should" do? We are concerned for her, but we feel helpless right now. We can take care of the kids and we do have legal custody because of previous episodes. Zennia, I tend to ramble too. I read some of our other post. Just two more days until your appointment. YOU CAN MAKE IT! I really admire your position and your taking care of your children. I know what you mean about a small town. We feel that we don't have anyone to talk with either. Not many people understand. They do think that "you can just pull yourself up." Thanks again for the encouragement. dixie |
|
Post Reply Quote |
|
|
zinnia
Posts: 800
Senior Member
Send a PM
Give a Hug
|
Dixie-All you can do is talk to her and tell her that you really think it might help to see a doctor "really quickly" before she goes. That's how I would do it because then she might not be put on the defensive (as in "you are not doing this and that's that). Most people I know don't respond well to orders, and bp's can be more defiant at certain times. By the way-the serial dating you're talking about isn't characteristic of bp's when they're depressed, usually just when manic. That's one of the signs to show that someone is manic, although it was never a thing for me. In some cases, it's increased sexual desire. In others, compulsive gambling or spending sprees/shopping. It all depends on the person. The best thing I can tell you to do is when she falls, and she will, make sure she doesn't have her kids first and foremost. Next, do all you can to get her to the hospital, even if it means calling the police. The hospital is the place to be safe and to get back on the meds. It's not perfect, but it's better than what's happening to her and to you and her children, her family. When she crashes, she's going to feel badly about what she's done. Better to have her mad and forgive you when she's back on even keel. Best to you. It's been hard for my parents with me at times, but I have to tell you, I never would have made it through any of it if not for them. She's lucky to have you. Well behaved women rarely make history.
Thou canst not disturb a flower without the troubling of a star...from "Troubling a Star", by Madelaine L'Engle...we all affect one another by our words and actions...it is our choice whether to do so purposefully and positively, or carelessly and hurtfully...may we all bring to one another the peace that we seek...
"if you want others to be happy, practice compassion. if you want to be happy, practice compassion" the Dahli Laama
Peace-
Zinnia
|
|
Post Reply Quote |
|
|
dixie22
Posts: 30
Member
Send a PM
Give a Hug
|
Zinnia, I hope to keep up with your progress when you see the doctor. I wish you the very best. I know it must be so very hard because with your work, you really have to be on your toes. You brought a tear to my eye. We have always tried to be good parents, but we are not perfect, of course. It certainly will be better to have her mad at us than to have something much worse happen. Great advise! Thanks again. Have a great day tomorrow! dixie
|
|
Post Reply Quote |
|
|
red1965
Posts: 1729
Group Leader
Send a PM
Give a Hug
|
Dixie, all you can do is set limits (and keep them). If she decides to carry through with this, she will not take the kids with her, that kind of limits. I agree with Zinnia, this behavior is more characteristic of mania. Where there is mania there will eventually be depression, and the higher they fly the harder the fall! You cannot force her to go to do anything, go to the doctor, take meds, stay home... She is an adult. But you can keep trying to get through to her that she needs help. Does she have a regular pdoc she goes to? If so call them and tell them what she is doing, they cannot legally discuss her case with you, but they can listen and take the information under advisement. Even try and ask them what the best avenue is for you to get her help. God Bless RED |
|
Post Reply Quote |
|
|
dixie22
Posts: 30
Member
Send a PM
Give a Hug
|
Red, I have already been thinking that I would call her psychiatrist in the morning and just tell her what is happening. She said that she had run out of meds and had not gone to the doctor. Right now she doesn't think she needs them. I know you are right. We can't make her do anything, but we can try to get her to the doctor. We have gone as far as to call the police when she was in a very manic state--she was driving recklessly with the children. We depend of God for our strength. Please pray that we will be alert to his guidance. I think he works through people like you. Have a great night. dixie |
|
Post Reply Quote |
|
|
red1965
Posts: 1729
Group Leader
Send a PM
Give a Hug
|
I will definitely be praying for your family, He works through people like US. We are just tools to be used for His glory. I just still can't believe He would actually use a rusty old tool like me most days. Keep us updated on what is happening. You are not alone, we are here for you. RED |
|
Post Reply Quote |
|
