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08/13/2007 03:40 PM

dealing with job and spouse

flightmusic
 
Posts: 6
New Member

I'm having a lot of trouble dealing with work. It seems that ever since my work found out about my Bi-polar issues they have been inflexible. Prior to my hospitalization, they allowed me to flex my work scedule a little bit, now since my car broke down, they said ther's nothing they can do and that I had to resign if I couldn't make it to work. I've exhausted all possibilities of making to work. The bus line would only delay the work shift by an hour and thus I'd stay late an hour, but they said no. I feel like I was discriminated against because of my illness...Can this really happen, I mean is this real for those of us with the illness?

The other part of my situation that may pertain to previous posts on spouse communications. Well, my wife is getting really tired of my being off work and having to carry the financial load...can't say I blame her one bit, but my marriage is suffering and she is not one bit happy in the marriage or in her life anymore. I've learned to take care of me, I'm doing all I can do to look for work, apply for disability and such...it's not enough for her...we might go our separate ways, but so be it.

I take care of myself first then others...it's the only way I can remain sane and therefore be in a position to help others.

Take care.

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08/13/2007 03:57 PM
bipolarmomma
bipolarmomma  
Posts: 440
Member

"I take care of myself first then others...it's the only way I can remain sane and therefore be in a position to help others."

This is the best way to handle situations. I am sure that your previous job would actually say that the reason you're not working there is because of the bi polar. but you and I know its probably true. When I was working (I currently draw disability) I had a really bad breakdown and was hospitalized. Fortunately for me the company was understanding, or so it seemed. When it was time to transfer people to the new facility in a new city they didn't ask me to go.Though they had given me 5 raises in the 2 years I worked there. I can understand the frustration.

I am sorry to hear that your marriage is suffering. i feel that if your spouse can't understand and won't try to understand then maybe it is time to let go. because if there isn't some peace in your life there will be no way to gain control over it. I wish you the best of luck in your life. And always remember someone cares.


08/13/2007 06:21 PM
Lori1972

I am also on disability, for three years now. My last two employers were really understanding the times in which I was hospitalized. The job I had before I went on disability couldn't be too flexible as to hours. I was working at a hospital as a nursing assistant and the shift times really couldn't be changed. My boss was great though, she let me take all the time off I needed after my break down when I overdosed. Once I came back she said I could do full-time or part-time, work whatever shift I wanted to. I decided on 3pm to 11pm part time because I thought that would give me time in the morning to get my kids to school instead of rushing out the door. I wasn't back for too long before I realized I couldn't do it, I loved my job but the stress was too much. I had shock treatments in the hospital when I overdosed and my memory wasn't too great. When I was finding little mistakes in my charting I decided it wasn't worth the risk of hurting one of my patients. After that I applied for disability. I agree when it is said that we have to take care of ourselves first. My husband and I have been separated so many times I have lost count, but we remain together. But it is a constant struggle each day, he never knows what kind of mood I am going to be in. I often sense he is not happy but he isn't going to tell me, he will wait untill he can't take it any longer. It is so hard to let go, everytime we have separated it was me that talked him into coming back. Sometimes I think maybe I should have let go and maybe it would give him a chance for happiness. Just know that you are not alone in your struggle.

08/13/2007 09:09 PM
manicdj
manicdj  
Posts: 13
New Member

My friend, I'm not one to cry foul, but it seems that may be the case. You need to go back as far back in memory and start documenting all problems that you have had with work and all the times that they have been flexible. When the time was right, I would make my feelings known and if they are a respected establishment they should back off. Good luck.

08/25/2007 03:55 AM
redrose
 
Posts: 142
Member

I am also on disability.

I was very blessed to have the employer that I had. They worked with me on every issue that I needed to cope with my job, except for getting me there. They went well beyond what you would expect from an employer.

I just reached a point in life where I couldn't make it to work enough to get the job done. I actually felt as if I was robbing them by keeping the position that I had and not being there as much as I needed.

I would get so frustrated at times that I would quit, they would always take me back. The last time I quit I didn't ask to be taken back , I was just drained and couldn't deal with it.

Please do know that there are employers out there that do care and are willing to work with your condition.


08/25/2007 09:39 PM
MsBimbo
MsBimbo  
Posts: 681
Member

fltmusic,

I am just wondering how things are going for you lately. Do you want to chat about it?

There's that golden wisdom when we learn to take care of ourselves first. This allowing us to be more capable of helping those others in our lives.

Your wife is handling a lot of stress and needs some help or even a short vacation from it all.

Some joint counseling would not hurt either. She needs support and you need understanding. A good counselor will see those needs and help you both see how to achieve and meet each other's needs.

It's a rough life, but it would not be worth living if it all came easy. In this, our bi-polar condition, we can value the wonder of life all the more.

God Bless you and your wife as you seek wisdom and continue to give one another that wonderful unconditional love.

Hugs!

msbimbo

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